Post-Unification German Security Policy and Interdependence Theory

Posted in Economics, Germanophilia on April 30th, 2001 by Дмитрий

One of the most persistent problems facing today’s Germany involve obtaining acceptance by her neighbors and peers as a major international player; a Big Power, if you will. Whether facing criticism for her foreign policy or complaints about the liberal trade and economic policy she espouses, misunderstanding Germany is a key characteristic in today’s international relations. In a way, Germano-skepticism has existed for over one hundred years. British imperial rhetoric at the turn of the century often described Germany as the most dangerous threat to British hegemony, and French ambitions for European cultural hegemony have often felt threatened by the preeminence of German influence over the continent. Though few would be willing to forgive Germany her role in this century’s two devastating World Wars, her post-War record has still not managed to secure her the liberty to play the role any other state in such a position would likely take. With unification and the fall of Soviet primacy in Central and Eastern Europe (CEE), Germany has been offered an enormous opportunity to spread Western influence and affluence throughout the region. Despite the huge costs of reunification in the midst of a regional economic slump, Germany faces no realistic economic rival in Europe, and the size of her population and their productive power are still the envy of every other major European state.

Still, there remain significant roadblocks in the near future which will continue to prevent Germany from assuming a global, or even regional, role befitting her statistical great power status. These include a reluctance on the part of France to give up her preeminent position as Europe’s center of gravity, a continued paranoia throughout the Anglo-American and Eastern Slavic realms of any signs of German national power, and the reluctance of Germany’s people and leaders to take the initiative necessary to pivot their nation into the position awaiting it as regional leader and global player.

Interdependence theory is an important foundation for understanding Germany¯s place in the current geopolitical context. Because it is rooted in classic liberalism and the understanding of the modern trading state, interdependence is capable of explaining many of the theoretical bases upon which the behavior of successive German governments and the population of Germany itself rests since the Second World War. In this paper, I will examine the relationship between German foreign and security policy and interdependence theory. My goal is to demonstrate that interdependence theory is the most accurate representation of the theoretical basis for contemporary German foreign and security policy, and also show the outcomes of such a theoretical foundation in the visible direction such policy has taken. Because it is the most important foreign policy matter for Germany today, I will place special emphasis upon the conflicts in the Former Yugoslavia. By examining Germany¯s role in this matter, I intend to relate how this reflects her role as a supporter of Western institutions, and what it promises for the future. Finally, Germany’s position in Europe and the world will continue their slow and tricky ascent towards regional and global power in the years to come, and this paper is also intended to answer those questions regarding whether Germany’s spotless post-War liberal record is in danger because of this ascent.

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Posted in Rants, Uncategorized on September 18th, 2001 by Дмитрий

There exists in our culture a cult of the collective. Combine this with the near-universal phenomenon of sexual or religious social identification, and the result is the ubiquitous subcultures and exclusive clubs which deny individuals the true personal and social freedoms they deserve.

The gay population of most of the industrial world is among the worst offenders in this area. In the dubious quest for power and “acceptance,” homosexuals have adopted, perpetuated, and promoted the very social ills and stereotypical behaviors that demean and constrain them. Rather than helping to contribute to the sexual liberation of our society, most homosexuals eagerly adopt the very philosophical preambles that have resulted in decades - if not centuries - of self-righteous repression by religious, political and educational authorities.

The roots of these offenses go much deeper than politics, “community,” or sex alone can explain. Rather they are based upon inherent personal shame and lack of identity, the roots of which lie in the philosophical points-of-view held by such perpetrators in regard to the role of sex in human biology and psychology, the concept of sexuality in its social context, the influence of collectivism, and a desire - despite pleas to the contrary - be seen as “normal” and to “fit in” in the eyes of peers and elders.

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Posted in Travel on September 28th, 2001 by Дмитрий

[This was my first real entry]

I’m off to Monterey this weekend. No real itinerary, so you’ll just have to read about it when I get back.


Posted in Home, Travel on October 5th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I spent every evening this week repainting my apartment, and now that the weekend is here, all I want to do is sleep. Sounds fine by me.

[Strangely, no, I never did comment about my trip to Monterey. Here’s what I DO remember from it, now over 5 years later (in other words, there was absolutely nothing to report):

I went to what I thought was a queer bar, but had turned into a totally empty sports bar. Went to what was still the queer bar, and after being cruised by some yuppie creep for a half hour I went back to the hotel and slept.

I ended up going to Santa Cruz as well. It was pretty much just as unexciting.

I walked around downtown Monterey and Santa Cruz quite a bit, and ate at a total of 3 diners. I posted pictures of them somewhere after that, but now only remember it was “Grandma’s Kitchen” in Monterey and the ‘Santa Cruz Diner’.]

Hobb’s Grove

Posted in Fresno on October 18th, 2001 by Дмитрий

So I went to one of the most interesting ‘haunts’ of the Halloween attractions scene last night with AmyHobb’s Grove. We bought the ‘Combo’ package and enjoyed a very scary Hayride, somewhat scary Haunted House, and somewhat cheesy Haunted Forest. I also finally met Caleb - who runs the ‘Museum’ - which is pretty much the contents of his living room - everything from a case full of dead animals to a collection of human bones and autopsy equipment and literature, along with old Victorian coffins and x-rays of his own skull with a nail jammed in it. He’s a trip, and defiantly unpretentious…

I was reminded after reading an entry in David’s journal that I never gave plugs to the The Big Fresno Fair, which I visited last Friday. I played the ponies, I ate all the junk food, I bought little trinkets from a silly Irish guy, I watched the 12-year-old girls push their baby strollers. ‘Nuff said.

I went to get my iBook yesterday and it ended up out of stock. Ten more friggin’ days to wait. O well, that means I actually will have the luxury of an additional paycheck when the thing arrives. All the better on the finance charges. So don’t go holding your breath for any substantial updates to the side outside of this page until next month. But then, I doubt there’s all that many visitors yet…

Open Mic

Posted in Fresno on October 23rd, 2001 by Дмитрий

Went to Open Mic Night at Club Fred last night just to see if it was a viable option for me. It turned out adequately diverse to warrant my delving for material for next week’s session. Hopefully I’m not so unpopular that I end up having ripe tomatoes thrown my way. Most likely I’ll be reciting a work-in-progress commentary on the recent Billy Graham visit to Fresno (my lack of attendence to which makes me feel like quite the minority recently).

I’m listening to Just Desserts. I need to buy their other CD. Speaking of which, whilst at Hobb’s Grove last week, one of the goulish entertainers was a fiendishly cute 20-something who was playing guitar for the crowds waiting in line for the haunted forest. His crooning voice was refreshing in the rather over-done pussy-rock/goth-punk atmosphere, and it bore an intriguing resemblance to the styles of Tom Laverack (Just Desserts’ lead singer). I cornered him at the hot cocoa booth and suggested he give Laverack a listen. He seemed too cold and tired to notice.

On that note, the nights are becoming comfortably cold finally. I hope it lasts for at least the rest of the week. I’ve most likely got a visitor this weekend from the City, and we all know what weather pussies San Franciscans are.


Posted in Mac on October 25th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I got my iBook last night. I think I’ve finally found true love. I haven’t slept in over 30 hours now…

Superfluid He3 show tonight at Fred’s. Maybe I should call in sick Friday so I can catch up on sleep…

[A note on my computer history up til now:

1990-1992: First computer: a used Mac from some old Mac lab. An original MacII, if I remember right.

1992-1995: An Amiga with a bunch of cheap word processing and other office software installed. I used it mostly to play video games, though. I also got a little 1200-baud external modem with which I made my first forays into Netdom, mostly chat rooms and the local Fresno BBS, “LegacyNet”.

1995-1996: A Packard Bell all-in-one, with a tiny 15” monitor wrapped up into a box containing the CPU, 3.5” drive, 5.3” drive, CD-ROM, and various other things. The monitor went bad about 6 months in, and thus I had it hooked up to a second monitor for another 6 months before I literally threw the thing away.

1996-1999: Used computer from my Dad’s shop which was good enough to do my schoolwork with and look at porn online with. This was, strangely, the computer I had longer than any other.

1999-2001: Cheap Gateway computer which I used to finish out my Master’s Degree years, promptly selling it as soon as I had my graduate app in.

2006-Current: Performa - David’s main Mac from 1995-1999 (Currently loaded with OS 8.x, but being used exclusively as a television in my home office)

2007-Current: iMac BondiBlue/1998 - David’s Mom’s Mac from 1998-2007 (Currently loaded with 10.1 and being used exclusively as a net station and card catalogue in my home library)

2005-Current: G5/300 - David’s main Mac from 1999-2005, and my main Mac from 2005-2006 (Currently decommissioned after a foiled attempt to load 10.4)

2001-Current: iBook G3/600 (currently loaded with OS 10.4). Still in use when I travel and when I want to surf and watch TV in the living room at the same time at home.

2006-Current: iMac CoreDuo 2.4 - My current desktop machine.

Of course, you’ve probably noticed that in 2001 I started only keeping track of my Macs, and not getting rid of them when I moved on, and I even try to keep them in use to some capacity. Hopefully one day people will see my home as one of the most complete working Mac museums in existence...]


Posted in About Me, Family on October 28th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Visit from David this weekend. I knew I’d like him… We ate good food that was very bad for us, explored Fresno architecture… etc. Even managed a visit to Amy’s spooky halloween party Friday night. Avoided the cheesy halloween block party in my own neighborhood.

Hopefully some more hardware to be purchased this week: I really want to get a digital camera, in order to take full advantage of this sexy new computer of mine, but that will be dependent upon the price. I definitely need to score a floppy drive, since all I currently have is a cd-writer. Though I suppose I could always just get some RW discs…

Tomorrow’s open mic night. My first shot at Fred’s. Should be interesting… Bring your ripe tomatoes! Ah the landmarks of one’s life…

Applied Philosophy: Why I am Not an Objectivist

Posted in About Me, Get In My Head on October 31st, 2001 by Дмитрий

I once used the term “Liberals by Default” to describe both the majority of our society’s common men, as well as its intelligensia today. This is merely a more common version of what I see sometimes among people who surfacially resemble individualists, but ultimately could not tie their own shoelaces without help. I run into a lot of people who seem really into ideas or philosophy, but upon talking to them at length or getting to know them, I realize that they are actually like little kids, who have discovered a dirty word, and just spout it off repeatedly because it impresses people that they can talk dirty, or because it allows them entry into the “dirty talkers” club, when in fact they don’t even know the definition of their new pet word.

I endeavor to build bridges with just about anyone I see as worthy in my life. I am able to get along with, admire, and feel strongly for those who live benevolently, genuinely try to be logical, and operate upon principle, but with whom I disagree because we haven’t seen the same arguments or been given the same percepts. In such cases, I gain nothing by “converting” them, or trying to “sell” them on my specific beliefs. I can, however, still have a very profound intellectual understanding with them. Once again, if they are worthy of it, and see the same of me.

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Public Property: The Antithesis of Freedom

Posted in Economics, Rants on November 1st, 2001 by Дмитрий

The only moral use of force is in self-defense. However, governments use force (through the legal system, which is maintained by the police and the military) every day, whether to uphold rights (which is the moral and just role of the government) or in the dubious effort to maintain “social order” whether this means controlling what is commentary and what is smut, or controlling who can live where on what income. Because the state can use coercion legally - unlike individuals and businesses, who must break the law in order to coerce - state activity in the realm of economics is immoral, since economic activity, in order to be just, must be based upon consent - not coercion.

However, millennia of state coercion has lowered individual expectations of freedom, and eliminated the desire to pursue a principled morality in society today. Most individuals base their political opinions not on what is right, but on what is the most expedient way to make the state function in their favor. This has resulted not only in an unjust society and legal system, but in an atmosphere of pressure-group warfare, where all battle all for government favors, in an aristocracy of political pull. Several specific institutions are directly indicative of this: health care, education, property rights, and social welfare.

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OtherStream Outbound

Posted in Family, Travel on November 5th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I went to San Francisco over the weekend. Despite the fact that it was San Francisco, David showed me an incredible time. He took me shopping. Outside of the City.

On my way up on Saturday morning, I managed a stop in Merced at a mildly trashy diner on the south side of downtown. The waitress who served me was a used piece of middle-aged trailer trash, who was incredibly rude and kept glaring at me as if I was the source of all her problems. I only wish I would’ve had something smaller than a penny to tip her. Just goes to show that no matter how many flags you wave in front of your business, it won’t make you any better.

So I’m going to spend the rest of the week convincing myself that I must be more productive next weekend. I’m trying to work out a bit of a trip around the west half of Fresno County: eg. Coalinga, Mendota, Kerman, Firebaugh, etc. Should be some good material, and a lot of soggy cotton 

Dreaming of Now

Posted in About Me on November 8th, 2001 by Дмитрий

You know someone’s getting to you when you start to have dreams about them… Possibly material for a new essay… But not in the mood to describe in detail right now…

Happy birthday, yesterday, Andrea. You’re one of the few people whose birthdays I actually seem to remember, even though we hardly ever talk… Must be the thing.

West Side

Posted in Fresno, Travel on November 10th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I escaped Reel Pride with a trip to the West side. I toured Easton, Caruthers, Huron and Coalinga. Tomorrow I will take on Mendota, Firebaugh and Kerman. Fun.

Reel Pride?

Posted in Fresno, Sods on November 10th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Once again my neighborhood is being transformed into a plastic queer mecca for four days. Since Thursday, theReel Pride movie festival has threatened to plug up all the streets with middle-aged fag couples and bleach-blonde dykes walking arm-in-arm.

Each year for almost a decade now, the Tower Theatre has been home once each fall to this Gay & Lesbian Film Festival. I’m so incredibly sick of it I don’t really think I can lucidly describe in what ways it is so offensive. The fare available is all of dubious merit, whether artistically or commercially - a conglomeration of otherwise unrelated ‘gay coming of age’ stories, featuring thirty-something boy actors who look twenty but play teenagers, or twenty-something dyke actors who look forty but also play teenagers.

Once again an event portrays an idealized and glossy version of queerdom which has no viable connection to reality, and all of the attendees of this particular event in no way resemble the characters, nor have they had even remotely similar experiences themselves in their past.

Nonetheless, the fags come out of the woodwork for this event… more fags than you would dare to assume could possibly exist. The heteros and unlaminated homos have to go into hiding in order to avoid being trammeled on, and if you aren’t dressed in refelctive lycra or pink polyester blends, and walking hand-in-hand with an equally offenisive freak, you will be completely invisible.

No wonder at all that I have no interest in venturing into my own neighborhood for an entire weekend. I, who LIVE here, versus all the clones who live their cozy domesticated lives 360 other days out of the year out in North Fresno. The fact that they chose to appropriate this part of town for their sickening festivals and disgusting parades I equate to the hideous gentrification of every other neighborhood of merit. Rather than confine their destruction to their own parts of town, they have to declare Tower District the “gay section” just because a few classy and vocal gay couples bought up a bunch of the commercial buildings a couple decades ago.

I can’t wait until Monday night when I should finally have my neighborhood back…


Posted in Uncategorized on November 11th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I awoke this morning to a wonderfully rainy day. The air did need a bit of a washing around here. It did put a damper on my travel plans, though… Not that I can’t take the trip any other day. Considering my planned destinations were little more than a 6-hour trip or so in total, I doubt finding another opportunity will be difficult.

Vets Day Beckons

Posted in About Me on November 12th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I’d planned to perform a special Veteran’s Day tribute at Open Mic tonight, but equipment failure cancelled the event altogether… Nothing around here can handle relative humidity higher than 12%, I guess, even if it’s indoors…

I should have come home and had some much-needed sleep, but it’s a restless night, and I ended up wandering around Vons at 10 pm searching for generic Diet Lemon-Lime Soda, only to discover that the Diet 7-Up was on special and 10 cents cheaper. I loaded up the cart with additional fluids and ended up home, where I remain restless.

Rain Too

Posted in Music on November 12th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Digging around for some rainy day music today. I love the rain. Too bad Fresno doesn’t get much of it. A genuine thunderstorm complete with torrential downpours today. Just Desserts, Mercury Rev and Radiohead on heavy rotation, spiced up with a little Cure here and a little SleepyD there…

And maybe finish it off with some Tom Waits. Perfect weather for cuddling up with a cup of tea… or cocoa… I think I’ll do just that…

The Green Party: Neo-Fascism

Posted in Economics, Rants on November 12th, 2001 by Дмитрий

The Nazi party of depression-era Germany is uncannily similar to the emerging Green Party in America. In ideology, political agenda and economic policy, it is almost frightening to review the implications on Americans should the Green Party ever come to a position of political influence.

Read more »


Posted in Work on November 13th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Another reason that I have to obtain the digital camera ASAP: even the photo developers took yesterday off.

Update: A new essay entitled on applied philosophy. It started as an email, and developed into the targeted criticism of many of my peers which I’ve been meaning to level for some time now.

This week feels like it’s never going to end. I really need a break from work. The monotony and “panic” motivational method of my Dad are getting to me. I think I need to take a vacation early next year, and this time I’m NOT using it to job-hunt (fruitlessly), as I wasted a week-and-a-half last summer…

Anyway, more updates Thursday hopefully.

Hairdresser on Fire

Posted in About Me on November 14th, 2001 by Дмитрий

His name is Greg Ramirez. He used me, he abuses himself. He’s been in and out of jail, gives consistently dirty urine to the judges, and can’t manage to hold a job. He’s years in arrears on his child support. He continues to demand my pity. Tonight he threatened me with physical harm (his words: “I’m not your problem right now, Mark. You could MAKE me your problem…”).

I’m not good at pity, and I don’t take threats lightly. It’s been a long road, Greg. But I grant you my indifference.

[Note: Greg is the one referred to as “Guy G” in the ambivalence of relationships]


Posted in Work on November 15th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I slept less than 2 hours last night, due primarily to nervous anxiety in relation to my encounter last night. I recovered slightly after spending some time cruising David’s journals. I realize that there are crappy users in everyone’s lives to some extent. David is a feel-good kinda guy.

I have to be at work in one hour, and there’s no way I can call in sick, considering a phone call yesterday turned this weeek fom one of the slowest in history to a rather busy one… It’s gonna be a long day.

Snogfest 3000

Posted in Naughty on November 16th, 2001 by Дмитрий

David’s coming to visit me this weekend, so I probably won’t be doing any updates or replying to any email if you sent it later than last night, because I’ll be too busy snogging. So there.


Posted in About Me on November 19th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Back to the grind. Luckily it’s a short grind this week, and I should be having a ton of fun over the holiday. Should make a return to normality easy to tolerate starting next week… If you can call this time of year “normal” anyway.

Should be some promised updates over the next couple days… Or not…

Camera Beckons

Posted in Uncategorized on November 19th, 2001 by Дмитрий

So it was an incredibly enjoyable weekend… But then, David is an incredibly enjoyable person.  I’m off to Vons and then to open-mic night. Hopefully I get to do my Veteran’s Day performance one week late, as last week’s event was canceled…

I should be leaving the 35mm world by the weekend. Goodbye rude photoprocessing punks…


Posted in Work on November 20th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I have most of the kinks out of the new set-up. Hopefully I get everything relatively smoothed over and functional as I browse it myself.

Fresno’s nice and foggy today. Already past noon and no sign of it letting up. This is good. I like the fog. If only it weren’t accompanied by such damn cold weather.

Dealt with some especially nasty broker-customers today. A note to anyone who uses subcontractors: if you tell us in advance that you’re no longer going to use us, then proceed to tell us to hurry up on the job we’re currently on, it ain’t gonna work. Why should we go out of our way to save your ass when you’ve already deafened us with your whining and made it perfectly clear that you have no intention of giving us any more business?

If you really want to get a job done, but aren’t satisfied with the work you’re seeing, the best thing to do is to show your opinion with your actions. Bitching isn’t going to help matters, and in a case like todays, will definately make things worse for you. Just let the job be done with and move on to someone you like better. Screaming at the top of your lungs will only piss people off and make your job harder.

Thanksgiving 2001

Posted in Holidays on November 26th, 2001 by Дмитрий

If anyone’s actually still reading this after my nearly week-long break from updates, thank you and welcome back…

I did Thanksgiving at ma & pa’s in Cambria, CA: land of boutiques, overpriced useless antiques and fine dining (read: “small portions and high prices”).

But the fact that we spent more time at home than on the ‘town’ meant I was almost able to forget where I was. My lovely Aunt Kathy provided the color commentary. No significant family feuds erupted, and pa managed to keep the shop-talk to a bare minimum.

Friday I managed to capture the Sippy & Old Guzzler show at Fred’s on beautiful digital audio, along with a cache of video clips which I eventually plan on compiling into a music video… Eventually. Thanks to Jimmy & Julie for letting me record, and for putting on a great show.

And mega-thanks to David for hosting me in San Francisco Saturday and Sunday. I’ve lost almost all of my Anti-SanFran bitterness over the past month, thanks to him. Granted, there are still some definate reasons for me to avoid the City, but for now, it has a certain claim on my affections which have tamed my dislike for the place. I plan to return often now, at least so long as he’ll tolerate my company…

Unfortunately, the weather was not kind to me, and I’ve managed to score yet another bug. As far as site updates go, I’m on hiatus with most of the non-personal sections, at least until I acquire my video-capture/edit hardware. And I’m probably waiting until after New Years for that.


Posted in Health on November 28th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Another night of precious little sleep. The sinus pain is nearly unbearable and nothing seems to be relieving it. Nyquil isn’t even offering me a comfortable coma this morning.

But at least I managed to catch up on the email and post a new essay in the down time. No work today. I’m sure I’d pass out at the desk. As it looks now, I may be visiting Herr Doktor this afternoon. I’ll post my last will & testament if the diagnosis is too dire.

Luckily, it looks like we may get a bit of rain to temper the cold in the next few days. Call the coroner if I don’t update again by Sunday.


Posted in About Me on November 28th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I finally got some sleep, and awoke feeling much better. Still a little sinus leakage, but overall, I actually should make it to work tomorrow.

On the up side, I may have missed open mic night this week, but damned if I’m going to miss coffee night with Amy tonight. And this time it will go better than last time.

I wish I had more to say lately, other than the run-of-the-mill “this is what’s up” updates. I guess, aside from the horrible illness the past couple days, I’ve had very little to rant about… I’m actually enjoying that fact.

Also, congrats to David on his latest publishing effort. Send him a note and tell him not to be so modest!

Well 2

Posted in About Me on November 28th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Slept all day now I can’t sleep tonight. At least I’m feeling pretty normal now. And the rain has come, giving me a pleasant respite from the drab weather of the week thus far.

I’ve decided that I like Star Trek Voyager more than The Next Generation. I’m bored and I have to work in the morning. Ugh.


Posted in Geekdom on November 29th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I’ve pretty much recovered from my illness - which lasted longer than most that I’ve had in the past year or so. I’m still a little nasal, and didn’t sleep at all (again) due to the evil decongestants.

But at least I made it into work. If all goes well, I should be spending a short stint helping out Amy with her new computer (unfortunately, the poor soul was given a Hewlett Packard), and then going home to pass out. Hopefully that puts me in OK shape for my trip back to the City to see David (again) on Friday evening.

I find that I am better able to communicate in written form since I started this site. I think it gives me the capacity to write and edit and critique and thus improve my writing that even the keeping of journals has not helped as well with over the years. Now if I could only make it interesting enough to get more than 5 people to read it…

How to End Coercion

Posted in Economics, Rants on November 30th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I have often been told that there is no way to escape the reality of government coercion: governments have to do a dirty job, and they must make and enforce laws which aren’t always fair or just, and these laws must be enforced and policed with police and guns. I’ve been told that this fact of life cannot be overcome. Although most people are willing to admit that some regulations and laws are out of control - from smoking bans to the war on drugs to laws against homosexuality, most people still feel that the government has no choice but to handle things such as collecting taxes and enforcing traffic laws under penalty of imprisonment.

Just because most individuals don’t find a moral problem with state coercion, the consensus that it is therefore the correct way for a human being to live in society is not necessarily the right conclusion. This essay is in answer to this widely-held notion. I intend to prove that, in fact, a just, honest and self-reliant society is possible without the constant spectre of government force hanging over it.

Read more »


Posted in Family, Friends on December 2nd, 2001 by Дмитрий

Now typing in the afterglow of a wonderful weekend with David. I like him more & more every time I see him. And it’s not scaring me anymore.

Not much more to report today. Just a “cheer up” going out to Murray. Things will still shape up one of these days…

iPod Beckons

Posted in Mac on December 3rd, 2001 by Дмитрий

Here I had the biggest most important update in weeks all typed out and ready to post, and I hit some key accidentally and it’s all gone. I’m not in the mood to try to come up with all of it again, so you’ll all have to settle for another sub-standard post.

It was mainly about my latest essay, which I’ll be reciting at Open Mic tonight, as well as some reactions I’ve been getting about it. If you want to discuss it, why not head on over to my message board or contact me?

In other news, I officially need an iPod. Thanks to David’s buddy Dan for the short but convincing demo, as well as the persuasive information from Apple.

Maybe more later. I have to do my weekly shopping now.

It’s That Time of Year

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 4th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I am planning a slight redesign of the site, but I probably won’t have it finished for a couple days, since many chores beckon tonight: Xmas tree. Xmas cards. Xmas shopping. Shopping for myself. More shopping for myself. Gritting my teeth at how little money I seem to have this time of year.

I’m falling WAY behind on my email. So if I owe you a reply, please give me a little while longer. I’m usually good at replying to all my email, even if it does take me several years to do so…

Site Maintenance

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 4th, 2001 by Дмитрий

The site is down whilst I prepare my new navigation and make sure everything is working. I’ll keep this page up to update on the progress, but nothing else will be accessible until Thursday.

In other news, I have acquired a sweet-smelling Xmas tree. The dogs next door are really getting on my nerves. I might have to go without snogging with David for 3 whole weeks. At least I’ll have my dirty videos to keep me company.

I managed to also videotape last night’s open-mic show. I’m not sure what I’ll be doing with it yet. Feeling more Xmasish with every new day. Now if only my sinuses would start behaving…

Websites are the Evil

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 6th, 2001 by Дмитрий

What a couple days… Very busy at work, and very busy at home. I managed to get the tree decorated and in place. Hopefully it doesn’t make my apartment too messy over the next month. Got the Xmas cards out. I have a few left over - Let me know if you want to be on my A-list . j/k.

Obviously you’ve noticed the new site design. Hopefully it makes for a combination of better navigation, better aesthetics, and a little more mystique on my end. I think the photo is very ‘Cure: 17 Seconds’ esque. I have tried to check all the navigation, but there could still be a few bad links. If you find one, Please let me know .

You may also notice that the “Trips” page is not up. This is because I still have nothing really to put on it. I lost interest in having a site exclusively about diners, and figured I can devote my attention instead on the places I go to find the diners. I’ve already got a few road trips written up, it’s just a matter of html-ifying them. Stay tuned. All signs point to that particular section being fully up by the New Year.

The rest of the evening I will devote to meaningless web surfing, something my schedule has not allowed for almost 2 weeks, or at least since I started this big redesign. FYI: for those of you who don’t think my site is snazzy enough, considering how much time I spend on it - at least I can say I have built this site from the beginning in raw HTML. Some people don’t see this as a point of pride. Those people have cumbersome web sites that take forever to load. I hate them.

I should be back to my semi-responsible pace of email replies starting tonight as well. Sorry to those who have had their patience taxed. Lastly, I’ll extend a “Welcome to California” to Ma Gwynn - I hope I have a chance to meet her.


Posted in Fucking Moron on December 7th, 2001 by Дмитрий

This is a riot. I’m sorry for seeming insensitive, but most of the questions teens are posing these days about sex and health are just stupid. And the fact that adults are willing to devote tons of time to answering them. I admit that people need to be more open and honest about the topic, and that often teens are ill-informed, but I think I was able to figure things out pretty well on the resources I had 10 years ago. I didn’t have to mail an anonymous advisor saying “I’m gay - what do I do?” or “How do I masturbate?”. Maybe I’m just being closed-minded…

Speaking of Excretions…

Posted in Canadophilia on December 7th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Another bit of news: it appears the government of Alberta just has too much tax revenue coming in - and here we are in a recession. Somehow, they managed to come up with enough money for a state-funded “artist” to pay a performer several thousand dollars to display 7 of his ejaculations (or at least the fluid products of it) as a “work of art” in an art museum in Calgary. Another tribute to the efficiency of government subsidies…

Now if only I can find someone willing to pay ME a couple hundred dollars for a wad of my jiz. Gawd knows I’ve never really had THAT much trouble producing it…

A Night at the Venue

Posted in A Life More Boring, Music on December 7th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I managed to record 3 sets at Fred’s tonight: Deadbillys, The Vultures & Cattie Ness. Such a great ensemble necessitates a great event: it was Kevin’s birthday (bassist for Cattie Ness). Great show, great recording, great video. The mixing and editing will be another project for this weekend.

Now I’m back home, trying to unwind before I pass out. I’m using my Dad’s old George Harrison vinyl to help me out. I’m glad I have it now. I guess I never mentioned my own reaction to the passing of Harrison: even though I was about 6 or 7 years too late to be of the generation which could properly appreciate them, I do recognise the genious and innovative influence of the Beatles and their derivative members. John will always be my favorite, but I have always preferred George as my #2. I always found Paul McCartney to be a rather useless member outside of the fold. I have not liked any of Paul’s solo work. Harrison has managed, on the contrary, to produce a sizable body of meritous solo material unseen among any member (though had he lived long enough I’m sure John would have outdone him).

So I guess my point is that the only two Beatles I actually thought were worth their worship are gone. I have been missing John since I first heard him. I miss George. There’s my eulogy. I wish it didn’t read so shallow and trite, since I meant it to be my only sincere tribute I plan to offer. O well…

And now why is it that I am lately in this mood where I feel I need to fuck everything that moves. I must have been spoiled at David’s last weekend, and now I lack an adequate outlet, combined with the fact that I’ll probably lack said outlet for another coupla weeks… Must find remedy…

Tired. Must pass out. Must not watch late night network TV. Must not beat off more than once…

Encounter at Stockton

Posted in Family, Travel on December 8th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Very nice day. I’ve been in great spirits pretty much since I woke up, and I plan on going to bed as such as well. So if you have any bad news, please refrain from reporting it until I wake up tomorrow.

I met David and his lovely mother at a Denny’s in Stockton. The company was absolutely perfect. The restaurant was absolutely pitiful. Bad service, bad decor, substandard food… But we did enjoy a fruitful (for me) tour through a couple thrift stores in Stockton. I managed to score a few records, a bunch of old 78rpms, a new outfit, an Xmas present for my Ma, and a rare smooch in the McDonald’s boy’s room… But don’t tell anyone…

Drove back home singing to Bev and Let’s Go Bowling at the top of my lungs. Attended Paula’s birthday party for a pinch, then it was off to Fred’s for Nate Butler’s 10th annual “Mmmm Mmmm Xmas” party. I had my single dry gin martini. I sang along with the Xmas songs. I videotaped the elves doing dirty things. A fun time was had.

Now I’m ready for sleep. I’ve neglected a few things I should have done today, so I’ll be skipping the computer show at the Fairgrounds and just sticking to my chores, and maybe try to cash a rain check I left an old friend which I failed to inform him was actually written…

Random #2534262.2

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 10th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I’m really liking Deadbillys right now. Something about the fusion of Goth and Rockabilly that just makes me squirm in enjoyment… Some very good news about my holiday family get-together schedule (it’s lighter) and some rather scary news from the work schedule (it’s getting heavier).

My site has been getting an intriguingly large number of hits on the front page the past couple weeks, but not many people are going further than that. And most of them are coming from David’s Journal links to me. Except a few people who are now coming from Superfluid’s site. Thanks, by the way, to Steve and Marcos for the link… I only wish I could do more for y’all…

I sent out a few resumes today. Not sure if anything will come of it, but at least I did it… Not much else to report today…


Posted in Family on December 11th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I knew this glowing mood had to end. First I bomb at Open Mic last night, to heckles and sneers and general unpleasantness…

And today I’ve realized that my parents are among the most inconsiderate people on Earth. They treat me like a 5-year-old. I sympathize with parental instincts to hold the cord, but the degree to which it’s being taken this month is perfectly horrific. I was getting really into the Xmas spirit, buying my tree and presents, sending out cards, etc. But now I just want the whole thing to go away. Ma & Pa are using the arrival of the holidays as an excuse to soak up my free time and riddle me with guilt about how non-family-oriented I am, when in fact I’ve always seen my family as one of the more together ones out there.

Rather than asking me if I can make it to their latest party plans, they tell me when it is, and if I express a conflict, they exclaim how little I care for the family, since I’m unwilling to sacrifice my prior plans to their scatter-brained priorities.

The motivation to job-hunt - for something several hundred miles away from them - is growing by the minute. But I’m not sure how well the market is prepared to receive me at the moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I truly do dig my family. I just resent this common line which emerges every holiday season which goes something like: “Revere the family above all else, unconditionally, because they are ‘your family’ “, as if the fact that someone happens to bel related to me endows them with some mystic superiority over everyone else I meet. I revere people who give me reason to. And most of the time, my parents do in fact have many virtues worthy of a bit of reverence.

But not today, and probably not this month…

Funk 1.0

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 12th, 2001 by Дмитрий

A small haven from this horrible horrible week last night. New job prospects, a good night’s sleep, and a nice, benevolent dream about a wonderful boy. Der hyaena might be getting his teaching credentials. And he may even be teaching before he has them, as things are looking…

Now hopefully the evil teachers’ unions don’t keep me out of work for being overqualified. I’ve heard of it happening to some of my career-switcher peers. Hopefully there’s still a few non-union districts out there…

Also a kind call from Andrea which brought me back to the ole’ days. It was sweet and sarcastic and cynical. That’s why I like her. It’s almost like I’m having a conversation with myself… if everything goes as I want it to, I should be in far better spirits as I welcome in the new year…

In only another 223 hours I should be pinned under the wonderful boy from my dream. If this week ever ends, I have a feeling next week will be just as hard…

Funk 1.1

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 12th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I really wish Carrot Top would just go away. I used to be rather fond of AT&T. Now I am seriously considering changing my service provider, just because of their horribly annoying marketing campaign…

Coffee with Amy tonight. The job hunt continues tomorrow. 217 hours left…

Funk 1.2

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 13th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Amy is a good pal for putting things in perspective. I think I do abuse it, though, and tend to rattle off about what’s going on my end without being as good a listener as she. I’ll start trying harder…

This coming weekend is going to suck. Saturday is already to be consumed by two odious family events. I may try to hook up with some neglected friends tomorrow night. If I’m up to it, I might finally try to fit in my much-delayed trek to the north end of the west side (Kerman - Firebaugh - Mendota).

So many things to procrastinate over… Hopefully my mood improves as 21 Dec gets closer…

Funk 1.3

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 13th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Bracing for a potential shitstorm at work tomorrow. Luckily, I might be getting a care package from David to take my mind off work once I’m home… Have I mentioned how much I like him lately? Well, I do - a lot.

Long overdue dinner with Paul tonight, and my motivation to relocate my employment is stronger than ever. I should be getting a good night’s sleep before judgement day begins… So I’ll refrain from replying to David’s wonderful suggestive emails tonight, and save it for tomorrow - you know, when I’m in a worse mood…

And if I’m still alive Sunday, I plan to finally open a limited version of the Trips section. More to come…

Funk 1.4

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 14th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Well, quite possibly the worst day of work in months is finally over. My fellow office co-worker gave his two-week, and I got crunched in my own job search… Luckily, I may still see myself in a new job by February without much of a hitch. I’ll prolly stay on where I’m at til Feb, however, just so I earn my next round of vacation pay. It’s gonna be hell, though…

But I managed to get home, nab the package sent from David and make quick use of it… You’d only understand if you knew how cute David is.

I will be spending this Friday evening at home, for the first time in a long while. I will be enjoying that fact… Then I’ll continue perfecting my iTunes lineup, in hopes that I’ll be getting an iPod for Xmas…

Now to tackle that email…

Funk 1.5

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 15th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I am enjoying my morning immensely, after an evening mercifully alone with nothing to do but relax and play with iBook. And with myself. David’s right: Vons’ store brand waffles aren’t as good as Eggo.

Considering what I went through yesterday, I feel increadibly centered right now. But then, in about 4 hours the first of two family Xmas events begins. They should both be over by 9 tonight or so, and I can guarantee you I’ll be needing a drink afterwards… Luckily tomorrow should be fairly non-threatening.

Putting 1000 songs into iTunes sure does take a freakin’ long time. I’ve been working on it for a week, now, and I’m still only just over 700. I’ll prolly be back with an update tonight hopefully.

Funk 1.6

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 16th, 2001 by Дмитрий

Thanks to Murray for the late-night hang-out. I’m glad I made it out last night. A very interesting and amusing sketch comedy show at Tokyo Garden, followed by cocktails and Saturday Night Live at Murray’s.

I felt like spontaneously changing my priorities today, and spent too much time cleaning house and other chores to devote too much time to the planned update.

I actually might be done with my whole iTunes input job by tomorrow…

Funk 1.7

Posted in A Life More Boring on December 16th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I finished the iTunes ripping, and tried my first hand at writing a dirty story. Not sure whether I’ll post it on the site or elsewhere yet, though.

I just know that anticipating Friday is driving me crazy…