Welcoming New Americans

Posted in Americana, Economics, Rants on February 6th, 2003 by Дмитрий

It is often baffling to me how small-thinking our leaders are when it comes to the issue of immigration. It’s a hotly debated topic these days, but it seems that neither “side” of the issue have the concept down correctly, nor understand the wider implications of the issue.

The “left” views immigration negatively due to its alignment with the statist socialist element. Immigrants, it is argued, jeopardize American jobs by providing a glut of labor, and jeopardize American wages by being willing to perform the same tasks as unskilled American laborers for far less money. Additionally, the “left”, with its catalogue of social programs and welfare interests, tends to view immigrants as a competing interest in the battle over the tax spoils made available by said programs. At its base, the “left” wants to enjoy the fruits of America’s productivity, made possible by the principles and convictions of the founding fathers, without the necessity of conviction or allegiance to any country, any principles, and without conviction.

The “right” is afraid of immigrants for more simplistic reasons, in most cases. They fear exotic traditions, religions and ideas. They fear racial diversity and they, too, smell a threat in the foreign immigrants willing to take up work for lower wages than their American counterparts. At its base, the “right” wants to enjoy and indulge every privelage obtained by prospering in America without having to recognize any basic principles or rights which created that prosperity.

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Posted in About Me, Get In My Head, San Francisco on June 1st, 2003 by Дмитрий

I don’t think I ever planned it to be this way, it just happened. I was absorbed by my work, out of touch with the social scenes, in a new town, and I just slipped away from everyone and everything pretty much…

I honestly wanted to stay in touch, really. Sometimes in the early morning or late at night, I think of all the people left behind; from my sister to my parents to my friends Amy and Lauren… I know it’s easy to pick up a phone, but for some reason the desire and conviction to do so never hits me when the time is right. It only hits me when I’m sleepless at 4am and getting reflective. I know doing this is driving me ever further away from them all.

This is the same thing which ended my web log last year: the inexplicable inability to remain in touch. I keep putting off a phone call here, a letter there, a visit here, a reminder there… and suddenly the days turn into months. I feel like I’ve only been gone a few weeks, only to realise that things have changed rapidly in that time span, that peoples’ lives don’t freeze in time when I’m not involved in them.

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The Martha Stewart Complex

Posted in Economics, Rants on June 4th, 2003 by Дмитрий

For about two years, the most recognizable businesswoman in America has been waiting on the chopping block. She has shown commendable strength and an unbending character throughout her ordeal, and perhaps because of this, the executioner continues to refuse a final verdict. Martha Stewart’s legal battles, and more importantly the public reactions to them, are one of today’s most telling signs of the impending end of freedom, life and wealth in America as we know them.

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A Year in the Fog

Posted in Get In My Head, San Francisco on August 31st, 2003 by Дмитрий

Has it really been a year? A year since I drove to work, a year since I had Wednesday coffee with Amy, a year since I stopped commuting to San Francisco every weekend, a year since I could pop by Club Fred or the Den on a weeknight for a pint or three, a year since I worked in the family business… It’s so strange, since it doesn’t seem that long ago.

It has not felt like a year. In addition to the weather-related element, this truly has been a year in the fog. I’ve felt that strange unreal drunkenness for a year now. The clouded sense of place that comes from being plunked down in a new job, in a new home, in a new environment; working in a new job which demands more of me than I’ve ever given before, living in a slice of domestic bliss I never imagined possible, in a City full of strangely plastic people who seem incapable of comprehending that their planet is larger than a few square miles, and that a plane ride or trip across a bridge is not an interstellar journey.

I’ve contemplated what I prefer about my life this past year. First and most obvious is being married. I never thought it would suit me so well, but I’ve grown into it pretty fittingly, and it seems to get more pleasant and enjoyable every passing day, week and month. There’s the job: the job I struggle at, the job I have put my entire being into without any clear expectation of what it means for my future, but continuing to squeeze every ounce of motivation and energy of my being into. It’s strange how one can truly focus such a massive force into a task one never expected to perform, or do it routinely, or well. I never really thought my future lay in corporate finance, and I never thought I’d be any good at something I didn’t specifically enjoy outside of the timeclock’s grip, but here I am, and it looks like the long haul. Time will tell what sorts of fulfillment it truly brings.

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One Night in Fresno

Posted in Family, Get In My Head, Uncategorized on October 26th, 2003 by Дмитрий

I never could have guessed that there would be a single person on this Earth with whom I had so much in common. But it happened. And it’s wonderful. Who would have known I deserved such a great thing in what was already such a great life?

David is my husband. He’s the most amazing man in the world. I met him whilst he was on one of his many “research trips” to my home town of Fresno. We first saw one another in person at my favorite pub. I turned around at the bar and there he was. I couldn’t believe how amazing I felt with just one look. Does it demean someone to call it love at first sight? What else than sight can be so perceptive and instant?

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Hello 1.1

Posted in Site News on November 16th, 2003 by Дмитрий

I decided to bite the bullet and start the whole journal thing back up. It has been simmering in me for months, I just needed that combination of free time and something to talk about. This afternoon, the former was available, but the latter was not. Instead, I just thought I’d relate my afternoon to y’all.

The husband was away on a research trip to the City (eg, San Jose) for the afternoon, and I decided to take a little walk. The weather channel was predicting sun, but the reality was much better: a grey haze which turned to drizzle as the day went longer. I took a stroll up toward downtown, specifically desiring to visit a little newsstand in Union Square and see what kind of exotic Sunday newspaper offerings may be available. I was disappointed to find it closed, and had to settle for a Chronicle.

The Chronicle today featured its rebirthed “pink” section (the Datebook, or entertainment section), which seemed to be the only major story said section could come up with this week. I walked a few more steps and popped into the Starbucks to read the paper and consume a couple gingerbread lattes.

I enjoy Starbucks. I don’t especially know what about Starbucks is so much more enjoyable than other coffeehouses. Maybe the decoration. Maybe the mass-marketing of a “cultural attitude”. Who knows? Something has always drawn me to them. Of course, back in Fresno I would easily given preference for the independent little coffeehouse at which most of my friends hung out, but Starbucks has an unbeatable prodct line, and its ubiquitous nature makes it an easy, comfortable place. The genious of the fast-food model transferred to the warmth and ease of coffeehouse comfort.

I don’t want to get long-winded in this my fiirst entry since my more than year-long hiatus, so I’ll stop now. Not sure exactly which direction I’ll be taking this incarnation of my online journal, but this was a start…

With This Hand…

Posted in Sods on November 19th, 2003 by Дмитрий

Many other people have been commenting on it, and I think I need to thow in my own bits as well…

I think the primary reason for the divisiveness in the gay marriage ground is the fact that so many people (including, to their detriment, most homos) consider marriage to be a religious institution. Taken objectiely, and in global perspective, marriage is one thing and only one thing: creating a single family unit out of individuals who were previously not part of the same family (unless you’re from Chowchilla).

Marriage has historically and universally been a legal formality (legal in whatever sense it means for the individual’s respective culture) which creates the bond of family between (usually) two people who are not bound as such yet. It is so incredibly essential to all human beings because of this: it allows a person their only ability in life to choose their family. It allows one to create that great bond of love, responsibility and unity with someone they choose, rather than someone they were merely born bound to.

How can we allow ourselves to be denied such a right? Those who preach the exclusivity of marriage are basically preaching the old, dictatorial view of family as slavery: that we are not allowed to choose our family; that the most important people in our lives must be delivered to us by birth, not by right or choice. “Preserving the sanctity of marriage” is the calling card of the man who recognizes no individual rights - not even his own.

One of the many pervasive forms of slavery which has existed in this world throughout history was slavery based on class and caste: where you were tied forever to the bonds you were born in. The creation of a free society of individuals who act by choice, not by directive, should result in the elimination of such involuntary bonds. Some call the breakdown of the family in industrialized nations a tragedy. I call it inevitable: it reflects the rights of man. The rights which are being destroyed from the inside out every time we give precedence to “tradition” over the evidence and proof presented to us.


Posted in Holidays on November 23rd, 2003 by Дмитрий

Fixing the archives to work with this site (and with Dreamweaver, linked style sheets and templates, as opposed to my old hand-coded journal) is quite the major task. It also makes me realize how fast my personality can change. The archives of my web journal are probably the longest-surviving journal I’ve kept in my life. And the oldest is only 2 years old…

Looks like two years ago I was a lot more dramatic about everything… And here I am one of the least dramatic people I know, so at this rate, soon I’ll be witnessing murder in the street and fail to find any significance in it.

There’s a turkey in the oven. I’m celebrating Thanksgiving with my husband today, since I’ll be with my parents for the actual date. The menu includes my garlic mashed potatoes (which I’m very snobbish about), a green bean casserole,David’s cranberry relish, biscuits, and stuffin’. Yum. Hope I can handle it twice in a week.

As my close friends and my hubby already know, this will be the last holiday in which I allow my parents to exclude my spouse from the event. I thought that after a couple years things would change, but they still want me to play the fraud, to talk on the phone as if my husband doesn’t exist, to visit them alone as if I’ve no preferred companions, and to avoid conversational references to my domestic life at all times…

It has to end at some point. I’m getting tired of allowing them to love a fraud rather than their real son. I honestly don’t understand what kind of comfort they could be getting from it…


Posted in Family, Fresno, Holidays on November 29th, 2003 by Дмитрий

That’s the dancing type of skank. A very happy Thanksgiving to all. I only wish I could have spent it with you

The event was tolerable. My family is coming around ever so slowly, methinks… Followed on Friday by some foiled attempts at shopping, and a wonderful evening with Let’s Go Bowling. Captured once again in digital sound.

Tired, and ready for bed after a late-night jaunt to Taco Bell wiith my sister to replenish the calories burned off from the skankin.

Upon waking, I finish laundry and head to the hills for one more night with the family. After which, I will head home and leave behind this final reminder that I should never have had to choose between one side of my family and another this weekend. Sorry for leaving you alone all weekend baby. It won’t happen again…

Holiday Prty

Posted in Holidays, Work on December 5th, 2003 by Дмитрий

It’s been a harsh week. 12-hour days and 7-hour nights and I’m just pooped. Luckily it should be a short(er) day today, after which I schmooze for a short period at the annual office holiday party. Pizza and beer may not sit all that well with me, though, as my strenuous schedule has caused my diet to suffer. About 2 servings of vegitables so far this week and about 10 of various animal fats. I’m feeling salads and soups will have to dominate the weekend…

OK, and maybe a burger… With extra tomato and lettuce…

Beyond that, I guess I’ve little else to say. Except that i’m feeling very Xmasy lately, and will most likely be making David help me decorate this weekend. Yum.


Posted in Holidays, San Francisco on December 10th, 2003 by Дмитрий

Now I remember why it was so hard to keep this journal going before: If I’m as swamped in my day-to-day now as I feel, I can only imagine how much worse it’s going to get when I start attending SFSU late next month…

As a recap ion the Thanksgiving debacle: My parents are very warm, wonderful people. However, they have an incredibly difficult time understanding the idea that the choice of mate of their offspring neither reflects on them personally nor on their performance as parents. They are steadfastly convinced that my choice of spouse is something that, if ever revealed to their friends and neighbors (at least the one or two who don’t already know) will permanently tarnish their image in the eyes of the world. Thus, they refuse exposure to said spouse.

I really honestly love my parents. I think their close, loving upbringing gave me many of the positive traits and abilities I possess today. They did not pluck my feathers while teaching me to fly, as so many parents seem to do in our stiflinig world of today. I only wish that they could be proud of their son, as their son, and not just prefer parts of that son…

So for now, my holidays will be on the “split” system: luckily, we only really celebrate 3: Independence Day, Thanksgiving and Xmas. So the rotate should be easy, and I’ll continue to visit often for non-holiday events… It’s gonna make me feel like a Jehovah’s Witness…

I need coffee…

Commercialism Begins at Christmas

Posted in Family, Holidays on December 17th, 2003 by Дмитрий

Don’t forget to buy me a Xmas present

David & I got most of our shopping done last night. I may have a little make-up to do this weekend. Friday afternoon we head off to Fresno for the sort-of family component of my Xmas: I get to visit my sister for her birthday, and drop off gifts for the parents. Possibly a visit with my Aunt Kathy. We’ll have to skip the party at my Uncle Allen’s, as I’m sure my parents would not be receptive to it…

Gawd, this time of year makes me wish I had parents more like my hubby’s

2003 Redux

Posted in About Me on December 31st, 2003 by Дмитрий

The year draws to a close. I see that it’s as hard as ever to get any sort or regularity to my posts, no matter how enthused I was when I first started back last month. I haven’t even finished reformatting the old journals to work in this site…

Things from 2003 I will remember fondly:

  • My first trip in an aeroplane, and as far from home as I’d ever been
  • My first anniversary of cohabitation with David
  • My second anniversary of wonderful love with David at Disneyland
  • My first Christmas snuggles ever

Things from 2003 I would rather forget:

  • Longer hours and no real raise yet
  • Watching my hubby go through the agony of smoking cessation
  • Family drama
  • Realizing it will be some time before I move my hubby out of this City

I am enjoying my place in the world more than ever, but I still at times feel a bit out of control of my life. I figure it’s partly because in many ways I am out of control of myself. I still carry youthful excesses and issues which I need to get a better grip on and start exercising more adult discipline.

I wish I could elaborate more… but for now, happy new year.