Welcome New Year

Posted in About Me on January 3rd, 2005 by Дмитрий

This year should hold some rather interesting developments. I don’t quite want to go into details, but those of you who know me well probably know exactly what’s coming. Feel free to discuss with me in private if you want to know more. To say the least, some major shifts and earth-moving changes will have commenced before the year is out.

One thing you will not see me doing is making any New Year’s Resolutions. The last time I think I consciously did this was more than 10 years ago. I have since come to view them as too eerily similar to the preachings of born-agains: the sort of “I fucked up last year and this year I’m going to change” philosophy.

To set the record straight, I think 2004 was a pretty good year. A wonderful vacation, an interesting bit of family news, and a conclusive team decision on future geographic disposition.

It had it’s down points: the family business’s embezzlement fiasco, the ongoing family dramas, the end of freedom, etc… But all in all, I’d say my life is still better now than it was a year ago. 

Random #2101074836462

Posted in A Life More Boring on January 24th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Wow, has it really been that long since I wrote anything?

Reasons… For one, I’m going through a sort of jaded lull like I did about nine months ago. I can’t seem to justify the effort of updating for the few things going on in my life. Second, I’m going through another round of isolation/hibernation personally.

I enrolled in a couple German classes at CCSF, thinking it would at the very least get me out of the house and doing something productive outside work. We’ll see.

My husband is feeling it and I am too. Poppy said something recently to the effect that people who complain about how bad New Orleans is just need to admit that it’s kicked their asses and they weren’t cut out for it. To that effect, I’m pretty much ready now to admit that San Francisco has kicked my ass. I’m not meant to be here. It’s time to move on.

I’m really getting into “moving mode” right now. I’m having the same feelings I felt around June 2002. The only think left is the resolve to set a date…

To digress, there’s just something incredibly sexy about Rust Belt weather. Perhaps some day I’ll be able to convince David, that the weather is one of the rad things about the region, rather than one of its drawbacks…

Rats v Sheep (But What About the Lemmings?)

Posted in Charlotte on January 31st, 2005 by Дмитрий

Does this mean that David and I are just sheep following the herd?

I like to think that it means we’re among the rats fleeing a sinking ship. Besides, rats are cuter than sheep. And less stinky.

Wherefore Art Thou?

Posted in About Me, Get In My Head on January 31st, 2005 by Дмитрий

A quick summary of what goes on in my head when you are witnessing a Murderingscreed in action.

The following is meant to be a short overview of my worldview or political philosophy. Think of it as all of my political essays wrapped up in one dense soy-flavoured PowerBar.

I have often been accused of talking out both sides of my mouth or being inconsistent. Though my views have mutated over the years, the basic premises have remained fairly consistent.

Read more »

Child Free - Way to Be

Posted in San Francisco on February 3rd, 2005 by Дмитрий

One thing I sort of have to give San Francisco credit for is being one of the most child-free cities on Earth. An article recently indicated that there are more dogs living in San Francisco’s homes than children. If only other factors (such as real estate, transit, sanitation and mental health) would be treated with the same degree of self-serving narcissism, it might just make it a livable place… and I’m not the only one with such an opinion


Posted in Charlotte on February 8th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Something significant just happened…

Cured by Queerness

Posted in Sods on February 14th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Why is is that a particular Catholic Saint was chosen as the mascot for a day so frought with hedonistic indulgence? I mean, when I think Catholicism, I think abstinence, guilt, shame. When I think Valentine I think sex, chocolate, food, fun, pleasure. But then, I also like the idea that I’m having such thoughts as a result of observing a Catholic holiday.

Not sure whether it’s supposed to be related or not, but an interesting discussion about Queer Choice on Leex’s Board:

“For instance, liberals are far more likely to accept the gay gene theory, and conservatives reject it. The main difference between both views is that conservatives see queerness as a contagious disease. The liberal argument amounts to “but it’s not contagious!” Not all liberals think this way, of course, but many of them do think of the gay gene theory as the only line of defence. Meanwhile, nobody really explores the thought that willfully engaging in same-sex relationships can be a moral position to take. It’s not only unwise to see sexuality in such a strict dichotomy, but it amounts to ceding the point to the homophobes upfront, and then going for a Phyrric victory. This doesn’t seem like a honest way of reasoning, and it’s very unlikely to convince the opposition.”

and a vignette from Chisparoja about the people us Choicers are siding with:

“What s always seeemed most incomprehensible to me about them is that they talk about being “God-fearing”, about being terrified of their creator, as if it is really something to be proud of and it doesn’t occur to them in the least that anyone wouldn’t love to live in terror. But I m not sure exactly what it is fundamentally that so terrifies them that they seem to insist on celebrating, or why they seem so enthusiastic about the prospect of a life characterized by terror.”

As for my own views on the matter, my dogged inability to dispense with my belief in free will make me a natural Choicer. I have never had a serious romantic or sexual relationship with anyone lacking a penis, but I have entertained the notion (and I have, in fact, dabbled a bit in my younger years). It doesn’t exactly offend or putrify me, as it seems to for most fags. I think of carnal pursuits are almost entirely fetishistic. My fetishes involve penises, body hair and beer bellies. I desire a certain set of sensory and emotional queues to get me going, as most people do. The fact that they tend to swing deliberately toward one particular genital and hormonal configuration is not all that important to me.

What Does Marriage Mean?

Posted in Get In My Head, Sods on February 14th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Marriage is a red-button issue in America (and maybe beyond?). Queers have spent the past year making strides and taking stock of setbacks. The majority of American voters loathe the concept of universal marriage equality. The war on contract law is taking some unsettling turns in places like Virginia, Ohio and Louisianna. Logical reasoning and rational debate regarding the issue has never been very prominent. Religious moralizing, thoughtless parrotting and empty rhetoric are the order of the day. What is marriage? Why is it important? Does contract law, in a law-based country, trump tradition? Does tradition, in an increasingly religious and dogmatic country, trump the concept of contract law? And to what degree?

Read more »

I Do.

Posted in About Me, Family on February 16th, 2005 by Дмитрий

It was one of the coldest, rainiest, windiest nights ever in the City of San Francisco. And we chose to spend it not in our warm, comfortable, and newly-purchased bed, but on the cold steps of City Hall. It was a test to see exactly how important social contract philosophy was to us. Would that everyone thought of it that way. For the chance to marry David, I would have stayed awake on those cold steps through ten rainy nights…

The contract was nullified by the courts, and alternative steps have since been taken to legally ensure the public recognition of my chosen family. Whilst I sometimes object to the concept of “marriage” in and of itself due to its weighted historical implications (religious, moral, legal, etc.), so long as it is the forbidden zone of contract law in this refreshingly contract-ruled country, I will demand its extension to my relationship.

My philosophical outlook on life can generally be characterized by several identifiable moments where it “rebirthed”. Each time it was not necessarily a “change” in philosophy but a change in perspective and a new lease on philosophical principles that were failing to entirely work for me. At only 3.5 years old, my online presence has failed to really reflect much of them. But there has been a small change in perspective recently, whether or not it’s been easily discernable in my composition.

What the process has made me think about most is that, although I have maintained the same general philosophical principles throughout my life, certain specifics have changed, and thus the fact that much of my ideas are documented and expressed here in my web sites demonstrates these changes. In the past, these small changes have encouraged me to let go of my past philosophical expressions entirely - sort of wishing to start my ranting over from my new perspective, and with a clean slate.

But now I realize that my past is a very important part of my life. The fact that I change over time is what makes me human and maintaining an intimate link with those changes requires documenting them. Erasing them is counterproductive if I wish to grow by obtaining new perspective on my ideals, and fails to lend me the vast amount of assistance my past offers for free.

I don’t think I have really changed, on a basic psychological level. Ultimately, what changes for me from time to time is my intellectual ammunition. I find newer and better ways to express what I feel and what I think and how I reason. Usually these instances of change are preceded by exposure to a specific bit of philosophical or literary material which gets me thinking about something in a way I’d failed to see it previously. If certain legacy components get tossed to the wind due to my new perspective, I see no reason to erase them from my past. It just means that I have to ensure they are qualified logically when they no longer apply, so that who I am is clear, and so that what I think and how I express it cannot be refuted merely by a perspective-impaired history lesson.

Thus, my duty should not be to comb for contradictions, but to explain why contradictions cannot exist, and thus why apparent contradictions are in fact evidence of growth and proof of perspective. My present does not refute my past. It complements it.

San Diego

Posted in Travel on February 24th, 2005 by Дмитрий

The weekend past saw an enlightening visit to Southern California, which within a few weeks will have successfully been washed away. Pity. Finally managed to meet Drub and Chuck at Pomegranate. Other gastronomic tourist stops includedMister Tiki and Jimmy Carter’s. Much weight was gained and cute neighborhoods seen.


Posted in A Life More Boring, Fucking Moron on March 2nd, 2005 by Дмитрий

Since I’ve nothing else to say today, I’ll just give you some links to visit from today’s GMAFB file:


  • Oh, so that’s why tax and compensation structures make childless people overwhelmingly pay for other people’s individual, uncoerced choice to have children…
  • So much for coming to the “Land of the Free”
  • The latest threat to the security of <hushed, reverent tone>The Homeland</hushed, reverent tone>: Zombies
  • Yes, I am starting to think that all Republicans are white trash redneckswhose SUVs are more valuable than their houses trailers…
  • Have I mentioned that I’m waiting with baited breath for this man to die?


Posted in Travel, Work on March 3rd, 2005 by Дмитрий

I was spoiled last weekend with a whole couple days with absolutely nothing to do. Since then this week has been grinding. Long stressful days and evenings full of activity. I’m ready to just sit and net surf for a few hours with no other agenda…

But that will have to wait at least until next week. Tonight I have class and tomorrow we head off for a Central Valley road trip.

Urban Redux

Posted in Urbanism on March 20th, 2005 by Дмитрий

A dinner and visit with Dan last night led to some more rolling around in the psychological quagmire which is my urban outlook these days. I finally got it all out of my system with a long lonely walk through North Beach and Chinatown today.

I think I’ve learned a lot about what I should expect from where I live lately. I’ve learned that I can’t have it all. I’ve learned that in one way or another, I have to lower my expectations. The ideal environment in my fantasies is just that. It’s not something I should expect, nor gauge my experiences upon.

I will probably always live my life coveting the edgy urban experience I’ll never have the means or guts to make real. The key is to understand that the urban daemon kicked my ass and leave it alone at that. I have the ability to be happy without it. I’ll just always feel like I never got a chance to experience something that I really wanted to experience.

It’s just tough giving up on something like that. Like being at a party where everyone’s sharing a private joke about me that I just don’t get let in on. It feels mildy embarrassing and uncomfortable, and it probably won’t ever go away…


Posted in About Me on March 23rd, 2005 by Дмитрий

I’m having life anxiety lately. All the time. Every life situation I encounter reminds me of things that went wrong with my life, things that aren’t the way I wanted them to be. I’ve not made the wisest choices over the past few years and I need to fess up and change direction before I start seeing myself as a total failure.

I have a MA in Political Science where I studied security policy theory in Eastern Europe. I have spent the last 5 years of my life working in small business bookkeeping and accounting, with no academic training in it. With no adacemic work under my belt for 4 years, no foreign language ability, no publications and no experience, my education does not really qualify me for a any related career that I can think of. My work experience, being unrelated to my academic work, qualifies me for niche small-businesses which will tolerate that shortcoming, and my earning potential is drastically affected because of that.

This isn’t where I wanted to be a decade ago. I wanted to have a budding academic career, some publications under my belt and the potential for having a sturdy enjoyable 30s. The poor choices I’ve made over the past few years mean that this goal has been delayed a decade at least. For some reason the instability and psychological disillusionment I’ve been going through over the past couple years have sapped a lot of my ambition and expectations from life, and I’ve just sort of felt useless and drained.

It’s time to change that. I need to take charge of my future and stop being the architect of my own excesses and failures. No one else made me make the choices I’ve made. No one else can get me out of the hole I’m in. It’s up to me.

Housing Crisis

Posted in Economics on April 5th, 2005 by Дмитрий

I have a lot of regrets that I did not take advantage of low housing prices in Fresno a few years back, when I really could have afforded a nice two-bedroom Tudor in the up-and-coming neighborhood…

But I’m really glad I’m not falling for the huge white elephant which is today’s housing market bubble. And I’m not the only one who think’s it’s so.

I don’t plan on buying a home in this market. Unless I were to get a Certified Rust Belt home, in a town unlikely to have experienced much housing inflation recently. Which sucks because my biological clock has reached its “need garage and garden” point.

Some advice, kiddies - I do not profess to be an economics or finance expert (well, maybe a little), but I think I’m well-read and smart enough to know my stuff here - take it or leave it:

  • Most of America’s recent economic growth is due to asset price inflation and attributable to the finacial services sector
  • Sustainable growth can only be achived through stable prices and productivity growth
  • Most Americans are not making more money or being any more productive than they were 5 years ago - they’re just spending money from refinanced assets
  • The rate of first-time homebuyer growth is vastly outpaced by the rate of second-time homebuyer growth. This means that in addition to buying plasma TVs with their refinanced houses, people are buying second houses with the cash from their refinanced first ones
  • If interest rates go too high to justify the increasing asset financing we see today, people will stop buying second homes, and if this is accompanied by an economic slowdown or wage stagnation, people with excess property will start dumping assets
  • If it comes to asset dumping, there’s going to be a huge glut of excess real estate flooding the market, right at the time when fewer people can afford it
  • People will start selling upside-down real estate which has more owed on it than it’s value, and this will spiral down, down, down ending with a veryhard economic landing for every idiot that is fueling our economy with borrowed money and not saving a cent
  • I will chuckle as the crash commences, and relish my unusually large (for an American) savings, which I will be earning better returns on than real estate due to an imploding housing market and higher interest rates
  • I will chuckle harder as the bottom completely drops out, allowing me to use my savings to make a nice fat down payment on a property which was half again as expensive the year before…

Anyone want to bet an issue of Frugal Living whether I’m proven right within the next 5 years? Anyone have an argument which logically counters mine?

Where Goeth April

Posted in Charlotte, Site News on April 25th, 2005 by Дмитрий

What is it about April that makes me unable to update?

At least this year I have the excuse of the pending relocation. Picture a 1000 sqft, 2-bed, 2-bath apartment with washer, dryer, dishwasher, disposal and two big roman tubs. Now picture us paying about 60% the rent we pay now for a 500 sqft 2-bed 1-bath apartment with none of those 4 other things. Now picture us wondering again what the advantages were of the place we left…


Posted in Economics on May 5th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Wow. I predeict that Kirk Kerkorian is planning to increase his stake in GM even further in future months, and that he’ll identify allies on the board and among other large shareholders in a bid to shop the automaker around and sell it.

GM is such a waste case. I will totally not regret its passing. I really admire Kerkorian, though, and I hope he makes out like a bandit on this one (again!). Here’s hoping he lives long enough to enjoy it.

Thanks, Sharon!

Posted in Charlotte on May 5th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Anyone in Charlotte who ever visits the Midwood branch of the USPS, please be extra nice to Sharon, the extremely helpful woman who took the time to help David and I set up our address change via phone over the past few weeks. She was nice enough to overlook some of the bureaucratic obstacles and the small matter of 3000 miles distance to get us set up with a PO Box and forwarding… Not an easy task when so many stupid forms and verifications and signatures are required.

Growed Up GoTh

Posted in GoTh on May 6th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Ganked from kitashla:

“Grown Up Goths don’t worry about whether they still fit the label anymore. They know they identify best with that subculture and that if they decide to prance around in pink from time to time, it’s not going to make them any less Goth.”

I’ve sometimes been told that since I don’t go to the clubs, go to very few shows, and don’t do much “social” or have many goth friends, that I can’t really be “goth”. But you know, if I choose to identify with a specific social group or subculture, I will. You are free to call me what you want, but you probably won’t be able to convince me that the music and memories have had any less impact on who I am than I think they have. Fear my spooky, homebody, old fuddyduddy self…

Somewhere Else

Posted in San Francisco, Urbanism on May 8th, 2005 by Дмитрий

An interesting exchange recently regarding the “love it or leave it” philosophy. Coincidentally, the Chronicle also published a rather candid reflection on San Francisco today as well… I knew David and I weren’t the only ones who have recognized the change in malls from one-size-fits-all shopping centres to specialized boutique villiages… Oh, I mean the change in cities from one-size-fits-all living and working centres to specialized boutique urban museums…

Whilst “love it or leave it” does, in fact, match our actions in regard to San Francisco, I think that the “love it or leave it” philosophy is intellectually lazy. Whether you’re talking about a dysfunctional bit of geography or a marriage or a movie, you have more than the choice of loving it and leaving it - there’s the possibility of tolerating it or endeavoring to improve it.

If I cared all that much anymore about the type of city I lived in or where it was, I would have the energy and inspiration to try to make San Francisco more livable for myself. If David and I are getting upset with each other, we engage in mutial psychoanalysis rather than break up. If a movie is boring, I get more popcorn and maybe start people watching or passing notes to the people I’m with in the theatre.

From Sister Betty: “Yet, sometimes we fool ourselves thinking the next place will be sparkly-shiney.  Pretty much nowhere is sparkly-shiney.  Every place is just somewhere else.”

That sums up my feelings of late. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my little obsessions, like Seattle and Pittsburgh and Canada, places that I just know can do no wrong - but that obsession would wear off as soon as I chose to live there. It’s no longer exactly about “where” for me as it is “how”. I’m choosing to go somewhere that will allow me a wider range of “hows”.

I doubt many people arrive at their dream city and spend years so happy they’re having a never-ending orgasm (unless you come to San Francisco and do nothing but go to sex clubs). People have their dream lifestyles and life is about building that dream. You never achieve it, because it’s a dream. It’s the process of building it that one has to look forward to.

And perhaps the opportunity to rant and rave about the people who are in your way and pissing you off about the smallest things as you go. Yeah, that’s what life’s all about…

Some Missives for a Chilly, Foggy Friday Morning…

Posted in Economics, Urbanism on May 13th, 2005 by Дмитрий
  • I sure will miss the weather here…
  • I sure won’t miss anything else here…
  • a quote from The Economist: “Tony Blair, for all his flaws, remains the best centre-right option there is” (italics mine).

I’m working on two new essays, which maybe I’ll complete on the train this weekend… One involves the blathering spew of an annoying fag who fancies himself an urban planner and sociologist. The other involves my feelings of satisfaction and vindication at the pending dissolution of not just one horrible corporate mediocrity, but two.

Moving Day is Nigh

Posted in Travel on May 20th, 2005 by Дмитрий

The following are tentative stops on our cross-country trek to our spiffy new home in Charlotte. I would like suggestions for places to see and people to meet, and most importantly, good food stops - from dives to fine dining.


  • Los Angeles
  • Phoenix
  • El Paso
  • Austin
  • New Orleans
  • Birmingham

The actual itinerary is changeable, but I’ll post it as it materializes, in case anyone in our path wants to join in on a meal.

Let’s Talk Geek-to-Geek Here

Posted in Media on May 20th, 2005 by Дмитрий

What’s the deal with “Star Wars”? I just don’t get it. These are the following reasons I could see it being enjoyable:

  • You took part in the making/marketing/financing of it
  • You are a graphic artist or computer animator
  • You are a costume designer
  • You slept with someone or married someone who is one of the above

If one of these don’t apply, I just don’t understand. I would even be willing to bow to the gods of fandom. But could so many MILLIONS of people REALLY be such huge fans of this? I tried sitting through a Star Wars movie (Ep I, I believe), but it seemed to be all style and no substance, and even the style seemed contrived and cliche. Shallow plot, shallow characters, predictable from a to z. I just don’t get it.

And I’m really, really sorry, since I know there are LOTS of geeky things I do that others don’t understand and can’t comprehend. But the Star Wars bug is so pernicious on my friends and links list right now, and it’s really scaring me…

On the Senate Floor in 2005:

Posted in Americana, Travel on May 25th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Democrats: Tax! Spend!
Republicans: Spend!
Me: Get me the fuck out of here!

In other news, I shall now unveil the fairly solid itinerary for the road trip:


  • Fri03: San Francisco-Fresno
  • Sat04: Fresno-LA
  • Sun05: LA
  • Mon06: LA-Phoenix
  • Tue07: Phoenix
  • Wed08: Phoenix-El Paso
  • Thu09: El Paso-Austin
  • Fri10: Austin
  • Sat11: Austin-New Orleans
  • Sun12: New Orleans
  • Mon13: New Orleans
  • Tue14: New Orleans-Birmingham
  • Wed15: Birmingham-Charlotte

I already feel my driving foot aching…

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Posted in San Francisco on May 31st, 2005 by Дмитрий

San Francisco is sort of like a really cute guy you’re trying to pick up at a bar, only to find out he’s a total tease. After a while you just realize maybe he’s so conceited he just wants to see how hard you’ll work to get him in bed. Ultimately, he may be cute, but he just ain’t worth the effort.

San Francisco: sure is pretty, but just not worth the effort. Not only is it tough to live here day-by-day, but getting out has proved one of the most difficult challenges of my life.

Some random items to demonstrate my point:

Everyone else is leaving, and thus getting a moving van is either impossible or too damn expensive (based on the prices I’ve seen, we could ship all our possessions by FedEx Ground and pay slightly less than the cost of a cross-country UHaul).

Vacating our apartment is a total chore. Since moving with our crappy furniture would be more expensive than replacing it on the other side, we’re trying to give it away or throw it away. No one else has any more room than us, so it’s hard to offer it to friends and neighbors (considering the average apartment size is 12 sqft). Unfortunately, the trash cans provided for an entire 4-unit buidiing here offer less capacity than the containers my parents have at their house in Clovis. We’ve filled them to capacity, risking the “wrath” of the asshole downstairs in the process, for several weeks in a row, and still have rubbish out the wazoo. We’ve tried leaving them out for rubbish collectors to pick up, but sometimes the homeless people get to them first and soil them with excrement, rendering them undesireable for donation.

Our neighborhood, being in the ghetto setting in which 75% of all San Franciscans reside, does not give us that sense of safety which would prompt us to leave all our Earthly possessions on the street for 12 hours, and thus we were up all night keeping watch on our moving pod. We watched as a drunk pissed on it, various gangbangers loitered on the street around it playing loud music all night and bouncing their stupid cars, and wondering what the hell we’d actually do if anyone tried to break into the thing or vandalize it.

Goodwill, the Salvation Army, and miscellaneous other thrift dealers are incredinbly picky about what they will accept. The poor are so coddled here that only the best rubbish will do. No used tupperware, no matter the shape it’s in; no booksheelves or end tables with flaws, sticker residue, or any sign of age whatsoever present. No used pillows, furniture or matresses, lest the donor have drooled or had sex on the delicate fabric’s surface at some point in the past. We must be picky about what we take for free.

Finally, no cathode ray tubes whatsoever. Since the State of California started taxing the sale of CRTs supposedly to pay for their safe disposal, they’ve become the most difficult things on Earth to dispose of. This is primarily because anyone accepting one is deathly afraid it’s dead and will need to be thrown out, and those safe and easy disposal sites/methods for which this new tax was supposed to pay don’t seem to be any more available now than they were before…

A transcontinental move is a tough thing to do on a budget. David had done it before, albeit in the opposite direction. It in no way prepared him for how horrible an experience it would be to reverse. San Francisco hasn’t gone to any lengths to make this a place in which I wanted to stay, and strangely it’s not a bit easier to leave this shithole behind.

… I wish that guy would make up his mind: does he want me to fuck him or does he want to go home alone. At this point, I don’t care one way or another.


Posted in San Francisco, Travel on June 6th, 2005 by Дмитрий

It will take a while for me to forgive San Francisco for the horrible goodbye it’s given me. My last day will be consumed with more moving drudgery: numerous trips to the goodwill, paying exhorbiant fees to get still-useful furniture carted away, multiple trips to random trash-dumping facilities, avoiding the asshole downstairs and his vindictive schizophrenia, walking through the apartment with the nit-picky landlords and praying they don’t make us fix anything which was probably already broken 13 years ago when the lease was signed…

I haven’t had a chance to “enjoy” my home or the city it’s in for several weeks now. Tomorrow we leave for our 13-day trek to Charlotte. I can’t say I have any reasons to stay here any longer - I already feel like a battered wife just staying home that one extra day to round up the kids in order to flee my abuser with them in tow. It would have been nice to leave with something verging on a pleasant memory of this place, but all I feel now is severe, jaded fatigue. I’d like to trade notes with Bosnian refugees to see what parallels our experiences share.

After three years of taking it up the ass dry from this city, I say, “fuck you, too!” I don’t think I’ll miss you or anything about you for a long time.

Desert Winds

Posted in Travel on June 7th, 2005 by Дмитрий

In the midst of a whirlwind tour of the desert, some quick notes on the experiences so far…

Final packing and departure was tainted by one last bitch fight with the asshole downstairs, followed by a final visit to the FedEx station to send yet another cache of belongings ahead of us to David’s parents, as the true capacity of our tiny Carolla became all too clear.

We stopped in Cupertino to lunch with Dan at Cafe Mac, and I pondered the wonders of working for a wealthy, profitable, interesting company. I’m good with small, limited organizations - I’ve proven it - but damned if I don’t think working for a company with some actual available cash wouldn’t be nice. At least somewhere that can afford proper dining and toilet facilities…

The ride into Fresno was uneventful, until the second we arrived in the Red Roof parking lot, at which time the car decided it wanted a new exhaust system. Paranoia set in as we pondered the costs, all while preparing for David’s first formal quality time with my parents.

The latter actually went incredibly well. Both mom and dad minded their manners and in most cases were thoroughly pleasant. Perhaps the fact that their son now had a credible excuse for being unable to visit made them eager to send me off with a positive atitude. Either way, breakfast together was also planned for the following morning. Family bond forged, David finally has proper in-laws, I think.

Morning came and we dropped the car off at Midas for an exhaust inspection, trying to keep a cool head about the fact that we needed to make it accross the country and find jobs in Charlotte with this car, and we only had limited funds to achieve it all with. Luckily, my parents continued to be jovial and pleasant and even offered the use of their vacant house for the evening since we would now need an extra day in Fresno to get the car fixed.

When the call came from Midas, it was a mixed bag. A little more money than we wanted to spend, but the car was fixed and we’d only lost a day. We decided to alter the itinerary to include only one more night in California, with hopes that the future might hold an opportunity for an extended vacation in the Southland.

We finished off our stay in Fresno with a visit to Me-n-Ed’s Pizza, which I maintain is still the best Pizza in the world. Then it was off to the Riverside Motel 6, where we arrived in the late afternoon Sunday.

A whirlwind trek back across the Southland was made after touching down in Riverside in order to enjoy a special dinner at Saddle Peak Lodge, which a cursory search of LA-area restaurants had yielded. It was amazing. The decor was convincing as a hunting lodge of the snotty Californian variety, and the food started with tasy breads and sweet cream butter with kosher rock salt. This was followed by an enormous pile of mixed baby greens with a simple tossing of oil, vinegar, salt and pepper, which allowed the flavors of the actual greens to really come out. The main course was elk on a bed of bacon-wrapped salsify and baby spinach in a butter sauce. The elk was incredibly tender and tasted almost buttery even without a dip in the sauce beneath it. David had the buffalo, which I found tasted somewhat sweet, but much more mild than beef. This was accompanied by a goat cheese custard which I couldn’t finish once the meat was gone. A very successful foray into the fine dining world for me.

We headed back to Riverside for the evening, taking a cursory trip down Ventura Blvd and reminding ourselves how slobbery and horney LA makes us. LA is sort of a microcosm of everything I love about cities. It’s trashy, it’s full of money, it’s bright and shiney and sleazy and dense, yet sprawls across hundreds of miles in all directions. “Sprawliing Density” is how I described it. It’s unlike any other city and it totally fascinates me in every way. I doubt I could successfully live there, but I would love to spend a couple quality months thoroughly getting to know it.

The next morning we made a quick pass through the Inland Empire before bidding the greater-LA area a final goodbye for the foreseeable future. We wound our way along I-10 through the Palm Desert. I was somewhat impressed with Palm Springs, as I’m sure all fags are, and made a mental note to revisit the place someday. We crossed the border into Arizona in the late afternoon and remarked at how suddenly the huge phallic cacti seemed to emerge from the desert rock. Soon the Phoenix skyline was in view.

Today was devoted to getting to know Phoenix. It wasn’t hard - not because Phoenix is by any stretch borning, but because the city is so damn easy to get around in. Like Fresno, it exists in a utopian world where everythig is flat and square. Every street is a through street and if you find yourself in an undesireable neighborhood, two or three right turns will quickly deliver you out. Phoenix felt very much like ‘home’, with it’s relentless grid and solid suburban aura. The freeways seem almost superfluous, since you can easily charge your way through any part of the city even during rush hour on the friendly and high-capacity surface streets. I was even hard-pressed to find any areas of town which really frightened me. The real estate market seemed a little inverted - property seemed relatively cheap whilst rents were only about what I’d see as average for a suburban city. But damned if I didn’t feel incredibly comfortable in Phoenix. I could live here if given the right occupational inducements - something I’d be hard-pressed to say about anywhere in California anymore.

Tomorrow we head for El Paso for an evening, followed by Austin for a couple nights. I’ll try to get in another update or two.

Car 2, Us 0.

Posted in Travel on June 10th, 2005 by Дмитрий

After a brutal drive through the desert to El Paso, we found ourselves wishing that we could have spent more time in that particular border town. It was a rather charming city of about half a million, perched on the other side of the border from Juarez, a city of some 2 million. I yeared desperately to see Juarez, which is as close as the US-Mexico border has to something akin to the Detroit-Windsor metro or Niagara-Buffalo metro. But alas, with the longest drive of the trip looming and no passports in hand, we settled for a spin through El Paso and a promise to return someday.

West Texas sucks ass. There is nothing there. It’s hot as hell. 10 dull, boring hours after leaving El Paso, we finally started to see green again, and civilization’s rudiments were appearing on the horizon. We passed through charming Fredericksburg on the 290 as we approached Austin, then the car decided to die. After waiting in a field on the side of the highway for an hour, the AAA tow arrived and was kind enough to deposit our car at the local auto wrecker and us at the Motel 8.

A restless night later, and we’re in Fredericksburg for another day to await arrival of the title to the car, which we now are eager to have in-hand should we choose to offload the thing before we arrive at our final destination. For now, the car is running at its usual bitchiness. We’re taking it to Austin tomorrow where we’ll get it checked out again, after which we’ll decide where we go from here…

Almost There?

Posted in Travel on June 12th, 2005 by Дмитрий

The car is tentatively working, despite burning some oil and running a bit too hot in the super-humid gulf daylight air. We had to scuttle plans for a stay in Austin and a leisurely few days in New Orleans in favor of zipping home to Charlotte as quickly as possible. We should be there by Tuesday night.

In the meantime, we overnighted Saturday in Houston. Massive city, massive heat, massive humidity. I experienced quite possibly the hottest environment of my life - upper 90s and a swealtering heat index which surpassed anything I experienced in the western deserts during my upbringing in Fresno. The Gulf Coast in June is like being trapped in someone else’s mouth.

But despite the weather, Houston was a beautiful city which bears a repeat visit, when we have real time to really explore.

This morning it was on to New Orleans. Rather than an extended stay to explore and enjoy, we settled for a single night - enough time to attend tonight’s Prime party and see my favorite author Poppy.

Louisiana has some vendetta against our suspension system. As soon as we crossed the state line out of Texas, the road started lurching as if every second freeway section was sinking - which may well it may have been - except for some reason Texas seemed capable of treating the problem and preventing it from repeatedly launching us into low-altitude orbit.

Just a couple more paranoid hours of Louisiana driving remaining before we make our way northeastwards to our new home. Tomorrow we’ll take a turn around New Orleans with promises to return. This trip has, if anything, become a lesson in where we need to revist. The current short list (only including the places touched the past week): LA/SoCA, El Paso/Juarez, Houston, New Orleans.

Tomorrow night we overnight in Montgomery and I get to add 3 more states to my List, then on to Greensboro to pick up our stuff from David’s parents before landing at our new home in Charlotte on Tuesday. Next vacation: new car, new home, new job, smaller itinerary.


Posted in Charlotte, Travel on June 16th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Finally in the new home and wondering what we’re going to sit on before we get jobs and can afford a new couch.

From New Orleans we made our way to Montgomery for one evening and then on to Greensboro to meet up with all of our 30-something FedEx boxes at David’s parents’. Two late nights later we have an apartment full of boxes and a lot of work to do.

Next week we look for that new car. Oh, yeah, and jobs.

Still Alive

Posted in Charlotte on June 21st, 2005 by Дмитрий

Yes, I did make it to Charlotte alive. Yes, we’ve moved in and the new place is just peachy. Yes, every telecoms provider in the world sucks horse’s ass, which is why I’m not updating. Still awaiting a reliable internet connection, at which time I may return to my normal updating self.

My Impressions and Experiences in Charlotte Thus Far:

Posted in Charlotte on June 23rd, 2005 by Дмитрий

It feels like home. I grew up in Fresno, which shares Charlotte’s “big city aspirations” whilst also being undeniably mid-sized and suburban. Fresno, sandwiched between LA and SF, and not being a state capital or transit hub, has a lot going against it as far as growth and importance, but still manages to consistently chalk up some of the swiftest growth in California. Charlotte is similar: sandwiched between Atlanta and DC, not a capital, but obviously a clear ssuccess in establishing itself and maintaining swift growth.

Dayahm, the houses are cheap (compared to the West Coast). I must get me one. I predict it will be a year or two before I’m on solid enough financial feet to do so, however. Meanwhile, Ug’s still buying the ugly houses and creating that infamous false scarcity which continues to push up real estate prices. Once again, I implore my solidly middle-class readers: do not fall for it! Get yourself one home that you feel is a good value and which you would like to live in for the long haul. The real estate market is going to crash and burn in the next mild recession, and I don’t want to be one of the unlucky speculators. With the high probability that I’ll be working in the financial services sector, I’m exposed enough to real estate market swings as it is…

Food, food, food. We live in the south-east tip of Charlotte (or the north-west tip of Matthews, depending on whether you believe the county cartographers or the postal service). Within 2 miles of our apartment we have about 15 big-box retail options, including a Wal Mart Supercenter, and about 50 inexpensive but tasty food options (about 75 percent of which are chains). We have eaten about half our meals out since we arrived, and no two have been at the same place. Despite the horror which is Independence Blvd at rush hour, our neighborhood is incredibly convenient for all our needs. There are few things we need that can’t be had within above said 2-mile radius. I could NEVER have said this about our last neighborhood in SF.

To beat that dead horse yet again, I ask: what were the advantages/ conveniences of living in SF? No one has answered this in the two years or so that I’ve been asking…

Sparkley-shiny: Perhaps no “place” is necessarily better simply as a “place”, but Charlotte seems to work very well - similar to the way I felt Fresno and Phoenix worked well: the transit/road network is designed in such a way that it doesn’t necessarily seem entirely sensible or efficient, but it all works well and is incredibly conducive to helping one find things and settle in. Only one week on and I’ve already got my bearings, I’m finally remembering where things are and how to get to them, despite how alien the non-grid thing is to my west-coast-flat-lander self. Also, the various shopping and services seem well-placed and evenly spaced, and there is an abundance of integration and diversity - both of land use and of people.

Basically, I’ve not been disappointed one bit by Charlotte. If anything, my expectations (admittedly lowered to the southernmost reaches of the sewar by life in SF) have been vastly exceeded. There were those little matters of Bellsouth selling us DSL which was not available in our area, Timewarner losing our connection order several days later, and the landlord failing to even show up to repair our DOA laundry facility to date, but these are pretty paltry - I expect very little from telecoms: I think they all suck. Despite the fact that having our own laundry room was one of the vital reasons we moved into this particular place, the laundromats in Charlotte actually work, and don’t feel like the Gulag they resembled in the Bay Area.

Finally, a bit of oddness to throw into the mix: my mom called me last weekend and offered me her car. The one in their garage in California. Since we were preparing ourselves to buy a new car for the commuting Charlotte’s job market will demand, this is an opportunity to hang onto our limited funds a bit longer - buying a reliable used car we figured would run us 8k-9k. A flight home a 5 nights of road boarding will run us about 1500 bucks. Thus, I’ll be taking a ride to California on the 4th of July to pick up said car and do that transcontinental drive one more time. This will be a solo flight, and I’m still trying to decide whether to take a bit longer and enjoy a few more unseen sights, or just fly through as fast as possible. Once I decide, I’ll post the itinerary.

Once I return with my own set of wheels, the real fun of finding a job, making a few friends and doing some networking, and taking someone up on their Sushi Tour of Charlotte offer can finally get off the ground.

PS: My birthday is next week (Thu 30 Jun). If you’re feeling generous, I’ve updated my wishlist


Posted in Travel on June 27th, 2005 by Дмитрий

David’s trip journal of our I-10 journey is up. His is much better than mine, so even if you’ve been keeping up here, you should still take a looksie at his. It has all the pictures and stuff…


Another bit of interestingness: I may be doing a short consulting job in SF for my old employer whilst visiting CA next week. This will mean I’ll be on the road longer, but it should be interesting and generate some needed cash if it comes through. Update when I know for sure.


In the meantime, assuming it does happen, the following will be my stops on my way (once again) from SF to Charlotte…


  • Barstow, CA

  • Gallup, NM

  • Amarillo, TX

  • Little Rock, AR

  • Nashville, TN


    I assume these will be one-night-per situations, and that I’ll be leaving SF sometime between 6 and 8 July. If you have any ideas for something I can do during the 2-3 hours per day that I won’t be driving, please feel free to drop an e.

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Posted in Travel on July 7th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Still very tired. Not sleeping incredibly well in the hotel.


A run-down of the past couple weeks: we continued to play house and get comfortable, finally sorting out the book collection. Celebrated my birthday with Salvadoran breakfast and German dinner. I decided I need to start exercising a little if I’m to continue with this non-stop culinary tour, but first I have to procure some biker briefs to hold my thighs apart since my own skin isn’t up for the job at the moment.


David drove me up to Raleigh at the butt-crack of dawn on Independence day for my cheap one-way flight to California. I flew for six hours then drove for four more to spend the evening in Cambria with Ma, Pa and crazy Aunt Kathy. Jet lag was cured by pure exhaustion, since I can’t seem to remember experiencing any at all.


Back to the Bay Area Tuesday to dump the rental car and take a ride on BART into the City the day before a potential transit strike (it didn’t happen after all). Quickly checked into the hotel and hurled myself back downtown to work for four hours. I somehow found the energy to take the street car for traditional Tuesday night pizza.


Yesterday was a very toilsome day at the old office, as was today. I rewarded myself with a medium-rare slab of cow flesh from Tad’s last night and some salted chicken, fish and bean cake clay pot in Chinatown tonight. Breakfast was at It’s Tops. Two or three more culinary outings before I head back to Fresno Saturday to finally pick up the car which I’ll be driving back to Charlotte…


Hopefully I’ll stop being so tired before the real road trip starts…

The Lives of the Actively Boring

Posted in A Life More Boring, About Me, Travel on July 9th, 2005 by Дмитрий

After nearly a week of insufficient sleep, I finally crashed for a straight 10 hours last night, after a very filling dinner out with Dan and Eugene. We also visited the new late-night coffeehouse near Dan’s house which replaced a quite useless yuppie bar.

One thing American cities need far more of are coffeehouses that stay open late.

It seems that there are two primary paths most adults’ lives take: some grow up physically but remain children behaviourally, and some grow into what I like to call the “actively boring”.

Individuals who never grow up are the majority of the ineptly-defined “creative class” - people who continue to live the rock-n-roll lifestyle into their 30s, 40s, 50s, and whose primary social activities revolve around bars and drugs. This is the class of people I horrifyingly find most marketing directed at these days, and I shrink from the thought of the state of our economy once all these people are 60 and need liver transplants.

The “actively boring” are those individuals who not only stop being socially active as they age, but also stop wanting other people to be interesting or do anything interesting. They neither want to be interesting or intellectual nor tolerate anyone who sshows signs of being such themselves. These are the majority of our suburban soccer mom population.

I have no problem with growing up and consequently growing boring. I’m on track for such a fate myself. I am beyond the point of needing crowds, booze, drugs and “events” to entertain me or get me through the night.

It’s a different kind of social animal that spends their time at a coffee house at 11pm when the rest of the world is either on one hand drunk or strung out, or on the other hand asleep or watching reruns of One Life to Live and resenting every second of it. Late night coffeehouses cater to a strange subset of the population: geeks who spend their most social moments in front of a computer screen in a room full of people they don’t say a word to. Guzzling nutrient-rich, brain-friendly drinks which appeal for their flavour rather than their effects. Spending their free time doing things which uncomfortably resemble work for most of the world. These are people who are anti-social and misanthropic to the deepest roots of their being, but who are nonetheless deeply appreviative of what men produce and thus must spend some part of their lives sitting and admiring society whilst avoiding any direct personal contact with it. These are my people.


Posted in About Me, Family, Media, Music on July 9th, 2005 by Дмитрий

One problem with enjoying something which I truly love is that it leaves me rather jaded about enjoying much else in the world in its absense…

Cases in point:

I love reading Poppy Z. Brite. Her prose transports me to a world where every facet of her characters are as vivid and colourful as if they were seated beside me relating the details of their lives, loves, and desires. Her books and short stories don’t really contain anything profound or important on a social or philosophical level, but I truly and deeply fall in love with her characters. They are as intimately familiar to me as the people I’ve met and spent my time with any other day of my life. With their addictions and dysfunctions and mistakes and also their virtues. When the story ends, it’s incredibly hard for me to move on to another book, magazine or other literary consumable: they all seem worthless and unimportant by comparison.

There are a select few musical acts whose sounds can make me gush with pleasure and emotional release… An incomplete list includes Siouxsie, Interpol, Tool, The Cure, Faith & the Muse, Information Society, and New Order… It sounds like a lot of bands, but in fact it’s a select grouping of special musical acts which affect me like no others. I’ll often flirt with other sounds here and there, but if I sit quietly through an entire selected album by one of the aforementioned artists, I’m ruined for music for a day or so… It all sounds like trashy noise, devoid of emotion or importance.

I have the most wonderful man in the world to call mine. Like an old song, the very thought of him makes me smile and think of how happy he makes me. It’s like every detail of my life is laid out and vulnerable to someone who proceeds to treat it gently and carefully; and nurture me when I need it and avoid me when I need that more… It’s hard to be around people in this world when I’ve spent a lot of time with David - he’s so much better and more easy to love than anyone else. His love fits me like a glove and it takes lots of reflection to understand that my inabilities to communicate well with other people, build friendships, or spend much time with anyone else, are related not to my shortcomings, but to the mercilessly high standards which my time alone with him has set for me.

I am done gushing. You are now free to puke.

Baby Talk

Posted in Family, Travel on July 11th, 2005 by Дмитрий

My sister has a baby on the way. It’s been a rather private matter, so I haven’t chatted about it much, but it hasn’t been the most problem-free pregnancy. Now my brother-in-law’s father is having health problems of his own and so the future dad has had to leave town to be with his family. Since I was around, I’ve taken the position of surrogate husband and may be sticking around Fresno for a few more days until more news comes from the in-laws’ family.

Tough times for the future father and mother. Hopefully things improve soon, coz I really miss my own hubby…

Uncle Murder

Posted in Family, Fresno on July 13th, 2005 by Дмитрий

I’ll be an uncle in a few short hours… It will be a few more days before I even think of heading home, and I’ve decided to scrap the August trip back out here… So if you’re a Fresno reader who wants to share some coffee, this week might be your last chance in a while.

Sis is in hospital. I’m spending way too much time at Starbucks now that I have this T-Mobile account. Luckily, the hospital, the Starbucks, and my folks’ house form an approximately 1-mile triangle over here in Clovis.

The Lowdown:

Posted in Family, Travel on July 17th, 2005 by Дмитрий

On Thursday 14 July, my niece Ella was born. A little premature, she had a few complications for the first couple days, but as of last night, mother and daughter were safely home. We’re quite optimistic now.

As of Thursday night, I was massive worry-weary and family-weary. Once Friday arrived and most complications were resolving themselves, I knew I was in desperate need to end this increasingly long stay. I body ached for a bed which was my own and a friendly cuddle from my man. My mind ached from nearly two months of impermanence and disarray. My need for stability and routine are calling out like never before.

I departed Fresno late Saturday and made my way to the high desert. Today I pass through Arizona and make my way to Gallup, New Mexico, taking the reverse course of the lyrics as I listen to David Gahan sing “Route 66″.

I should be landing in Charlotte on Thursday evening. Not many plans for the road. Perhaps a nice dinner in Little Rock and/or Nashville, where I’ve been eyeing a couple intriguing menus.

The trip in August has been called off. It’s time to buckle down, find a job, get back into a rut, and start bitching about everything again. I’m sure y’all missed me.

On the Road Again

Posted in Travel on July 20th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Most of my hotel rooms have conveniently had wireless access. Alas, I’ve had pretty tight time due to the long daily drives and an itching desire to actually see a thing or two whilst on the road. Rather than give a real ‘trip journal’ here, I’ll just relay some of the notes I’ve jotted down on my notepad over the past few days:

  • Flagstaff was interesting. It’s geography was reminiscent of Shaver Lake and the communities of the Sierra Nevada. It seems rather alone, however, as on three sides it is surrounded by lower-lying areas which lack the elevation (and thus precipitation) to support such an environment.
  • Meteor Crater might have been interesting had they not been asking 12 bucks just to see the thing. Not for a tour, not for a scenic ride around it. No, just to look at it. I can live without that…
  • Albuquerque warrants further exploration. From a distance, it looked similar to how Las Cruces struck me, except without the proximity of Texas and Mexico. A quick drive down its own piece of Route 66 convinced me, however, that it needs some help with its transit and traffic planning.
  • I hadn’t had a post-apocalyptic dream in a long time, but I had one Monday night… I dreamt that I bought the Harry Potter book. It scared me (the dream, that is. I didn’t actually read the book in the dream).
  • Amarillo had a genuiune “Top 100″ station, a la 1980s. It played current hits from rock, rap, R&B, cheezy pop, neo-dance, new country, and even some metal (as defined by current foul-mouthed crotch-rock stations). Essentially genre-free, I even managed to listen to it for about 4-5 hours over my time in Amarillo and never heard the same song twice - something totally unthinkable on any of Clear Channel’s genre stations. The DJs also seemed more interested in introducing and elucidating on the music, rather than trying to be “personalities”. I felt like I was back in 1988, except that all the music was different. These are the type of stations that went missing around the same time that the record companies started complaining about crumbling profits and piracy.
  • I think the problem was that at some point in the 90s the record company execs or station execs convinced themselves that all music lovers only loved one genre, and thus they genreized their stations, culture and marketing. Since then: a) I have no idea who the top artists are and no one else seems to either, b) I can’t listen to a station for more than two hours without hearing the same song twice or hearing the DJ insult me, and c) I haven’t really been encouraged to buy music by hearing it on the radio. The only time in the past few years I’ve bought a song or record because I liked something on the radio was on one of these rare remaining ungenre’d stations or listening to a station by accident which I normally would not, such as in a public place playing the Muzak or R&B station. Hint, entertainment execs: bring back the 80s (and no, not literally, like VH1 Classic is trying to do…)!
  • Amarillo was like a slightly smaller version of Fresno, with green grass (instead of “golden”) and no mountains in sight. And cheaper real estate. If I happen to be back in the area someday, I’d like to spend a full day exploring the place.
  • The landscape started being green at the Oklahoma state line, and a few miles before Arkansas the trees doubled in size and the humidity shot through the roof. I was home.
  • Doesn’t calling your newscast “fair and balanced” as a slogan sound so preemptive and defensive that it’s automatically disqualified from being taken seriously? It’s like you have so little confidence in your objectivity that you have to open each segment screaming “We’re NOT liberal! But we’re NOT conservative either!! We’re NOT! We’re NOT! We’re NOT!!!”
  • 27 miles before Little Rock, there is a sign directing motorists to “Toad Suck Park”.
  • I ate at Gypsy’s last night. My optimism at having a supposedly Satanic server (he was very excited to show me that he, too, was wearing an inverted pentagram) was demolished as I started to feed. For those prices, I expect fresh-baked dinner rolls, rather than something cold and hard which I could get from the dumpster behind the Kroger next door. I couldn’t taste any lobster flavour in the Lobster Bisque. The meat I ate was possibly the lamb I ordered, but I couldn’t tell because it was covered with a liter of salty curry-chutney type sauce. I like my sauces, but on high-quaality meat, I prefer to choose how much I want to use. Aside from not really tasting the meat, it was tender and had a good texture, so I think they at least got the medium rare part right, unless it was just some sort of tofu and I couldn’t tell from the sauce…

One more night and I’ll be home tomorrow. I’m sure I’ll have something more to bitch about by then…

It’s Like Learning a New Language

Posted in Charlotte on July 24th, 2005 by Дмитрий

It’s been a really long month. Next month will probably be longer.


I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, and I just turned 28. I’m not sure what kind of job to start looking for. All I know is that I’m ready to start working and I have promised myself that I will have received my first paycheck by 31 August. And that I’ll have bought a house before my 30th birthday.


I have wheels and I’m home. Time to take advantage of that and actually try to make some friends in Charlotte. Anyone have any suggestions? I don’t drink and I hate people, so you’ll have to work around that. Late-night coffeehouses with wireless access are good… Or goth clubs with no cover charge…

Job Hunt and Stuff

Posted in A Life More Boring on August 2nd, 2005 by Дмитрий

Two interviews down. Not to sound over-optimistic, but I think I grabbed them by the balls. Strangely, the consulting income is rolling in faster than I expected it would, wwhich means I can confidently be pickier than I expected to be able to be with whichever job I choose… It feels good, and I think that extra confidence reflected in my intervies today.

Tonight I test out my new recipe for a 10-cheeze pizza. If it turns out good I’ll post the recipe here. Tomorrow I try being social in Charlotte for the first time…

Next week is David’s birthday. Please buy him (and by association, me) something!

Trucker Fantasy

Posted in Work on August 3rd, 2005 by Дмитрий

MurderingMouth got a temp-to-hire job. It’s a stop-gap measure so that I can keep up the mad pace of my expensive cheese-intensive lifestyle. It pays better than I expected I’d start out with. It’s at a trucking ccompany, which may or may not mean I’ll be coming home to hubby very horney every evening (I find the trucker fantasy is always more interesting than the trucker reality)…

Mistakes With Temp Agencies

Posted in Work on August 3rd, 2005 by Дмитрий

The job offer turned out to be a fraud. After offering a “temp to hire at 14/hr”, they called back later today to say that during the “temp” part of the scenario (during which time the agency would be taking their cut from the fee paid by the employer), it would only be at 10/hr. Rubbish. I told the fuckers to forget it. Luckily, someone from the same agency who was recruiting internally for the agency itself called later today aand I have an interview with her tomorrow.


The consulting work is enough to keep me in stockings and fans for now. Meanwhilst, I went out to Dilworth Playhouse this evening to enjoy my first Coffee Night in my new city. It was fun. Will do again.

“Uptown” “Life”?

Posted in Fucking Moron on August 8th, 2005 by Дмитрий

What happens when four illiterate fags and a fag hag pool their trust funds and start a magazine? You end up with this.

Achingly, horribly bad. And on top of that, it’s bland and overdramatized. That’s how I knew they were fags.


Posted in Uncategorized on August 10th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Happy Birthday to David. Next year I hope to get you something which you can use to decorate or accent the house I hope to have for you by then.

Also birthday wishes out to Amber, and a belated HBD to Dan.


Posted in Work on August 13th, 2005 by Дмитрий

So the past week I’ve “sort of” had a job: it’s one of those deals where the employer has had so many bad candidates through the door that they are only hiring people on a “long-term probation” basis, with no real promise that it’s a done deal or permanent employment. However, I think I’ve been an impressive worker, and from the chatter in the office I believe I’ve lasted longer than any of the previous candidates (which says a lot about their screening techniques perhaps…)


Either way, it’s work, it’s in a cool office with agreeable people and it shows tremendous promise. It’s out in Ballantyne, and the morning commute isn’t bad at all from Matthews (the evening commute is another story the past week since it seems that there has been torrential rain on the 485 each afternoon).


So now I can concentrate on making the bank account start moving the other direction as well as the credit cards. I want to be in mortgage application condition by this time next year.


Posted in Work on August 15th, 2005 by Дмитрий

I’ve worked for a week now, but I’m still adjusting (badly) to the new schedule. Insomnia is the norm rather than the exception. Needless to say my enthusiasm for going out tonight waned and I stayed home hoping to get to sleep early. It didn’t work.


Posted in Charlotte, Work on August 26th, 2005 by Дмитрий

It’s nice having some routine time. I’ve said before that the most enjoyable thing in my life is boredom. I like having a nice routine, with no drama or excitement. Even when I go out seeking social interaction and stimulation, it’s usually to a very quiet setting where I’m in little danger of encountering anything I can’t anticipate, control or easily digest.

The only time I resent routine is when it is something like routine denial or routine repression of what I really want to do. When I have a boring, enjoyable routine worked out, I can do it forever and not get sick of it.

A few hiccups are still in there - I’ve yet to find a convenient routine coffeehouse stop for my daily homeward commute, or a routine coffee night with friends, or a routine 7pm goth night somewhere, or a routine naked bear pool party, but I’m sure in time…

Routine Too

Posted in Family on August 26th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Just thought I’d mention, though, that there’s one routine I enjoy above all others, and I’ll “keep” him as long as he needs… I hope you find work, too, baby, but that’s just coz I hope to see you cheer up. You know you can be my kept boy forever, seeing as I love you more than anything else in the world and all…