Visit from David this weekend. I knew I’d like him… We ate good food that was very bad for us, explored Fresno architecture… etc. Even managed a visit to Amy’s spooky halloween party Friday night. Avoided the cheesy halloween block party in my own neighborhood.

Hopefully some more hardware to be purchased this week: I really want to get a digital camera, in order to take full advantage of this sexy new computer of mine, but that will be dependent upon the price. I definitely need to score a floppy drive, since all I currently have is a cd-writer. Though I suppose I could always just get some RW discs…

Tomorrow’s open mic night. My first shot at Fred’s. Should be interesting… Bring your ripe tomatoes! Ah the landmarks of one’s life…

I once used the term “Liberals by Default” to describe both the majority of our society’s common men, as well as its intelligensia today. This is merely a more common version of what I see sometimes among people who surfacially resemble individualists, but ultimately could not tie their own shoelaces without help. I run into a lot of people who seem really into ideas or philosophy, but upon talking to them at length or getting to know them, I realize that they are actually like little kids, who have discovered a dirty word, and just spout it off repeatedly because it impresses people that they can talk dirty, or because it allows them entry into the “dirty talkers” club, when in fact they don’t even know the definition of their new pet word.

I endeavor to build bridges with just about anyone I see as worthy in my life. I am able to get along with, admire, and feel strongly for those who live benevolently, genuinely try to be logical, and operate upon principle, but with whom I disagree because we haven’t seen the same arguments or been given the same percepts. In such cases, I gain nothing by “converting” them, or trying to “sell” them on my specific beliefs. I can, however, still have a very profound intellectual understanding with them. Once again, if they are worthy of it, and see the same of me.

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You know someone’s getting to you when you start to have dreams about them… Possibly material for a new essay… But not in the mood to describe in detail right now…

Happy birthday, yesterday, Andrea. You’re one of the few people whose birthdays I actually seem to remember, even though we hardly ever talk… Must be the Amazon.com thing.

I’d planned to perform a special Veteran’s Day tribute at Open Mic tonight, but equipment failure cancelled the event altogether… Nothing around here can handle relative humidity higher than 12%, I guess, even if it’s indoors…

I should have come home and had some much-needed sleep, but it’s a restless night, and I ended up wandering around Vons at 10 pm searching for generic Diet Lemon-Lime Soda, only to discover that the Diet 7-Up was on special and 10 cents cheaper. I loaded up the cart with additional fluids and ended up home, where I remain restless.

His name is Greg Ramirez. He used me, he abuses himself. He’s been in and out of jail, gives consistently dirty urine to the judges, and can’t manage to hold a job. He’s years in arrears on his child support. He continues to demand my pity. Tonight he threatened me with physical harm (his words: “I’m not your problem right now, Mark. You could MAKE me your problem…”).

I’m not good at pity, and I don’t take threats lightly. It’s been a long road, Greg. But I grant you my indifference.

[Note: Greg is the one referred to as “Guy G” in the ambivalence of relationships]

Back to the grind. Luckily it’s a short grind this week, and I should be having a ton of fun over the holiday. Should make a return to normality easy to tolerate starting next week… If you can call this time of year “normal” anyway.

Should be some promised updates over the next couple days… Or not…

I finally got some sleep, and awoke feeling much better. Still a little sinus leakage, but overall, I actually should make it to work tomorrow.

On the up side, I may have missed open mic night this week, but damned if I’m going to miss coffee night with Amy tonight. And this time it will go better than last time.

I wish I had more to say lately, other than the run-of-the-mill “this is what’s up” updates. I guess, aside from the horrible illness the past couple days, I’ve had very little to rant about… I’m actually enjoying that fact.

Also, congrats to David on his latest publishing effort. Send him a note and tell him not to be so modest!

Slept all day now I can’t sleep tonight. At least I’m feeling pretty normal now. And the rain has come, giving me a pleasant respite from the drab weather of the week thus far.

I’ve decided that I like Star Trek Voyager more than The Next Generation. I’m bored and I have to work in the morning. Ugh.

Not much more spending cash, but much lower credit card balances today. Der hyaena is now permitted to substitute teach. Rah. I’ve cleaned the house, boiled my first pot of water on my stove, had coffee with Amy… All in all, I’m feeling pretty together.

I’m also feeling pretty comfortable with the world right now. Despite the cynical atmosphere here, things have really been working out for me lately. And I recently realized something which is happening to me that I’m exceedingly happy about… I’m feeling more comfortable with my life lately than I have since I can remember.

So forgive me when the cynical comments return tomorrow or in the future. They’re just my moody diversions. In truth, I’m incredibly pleased with things, and will probably be even more pleased over the next few weeks if things go as I have them planned. Professionally and personally…

Hopefully this entry wasn’t too vague. It was kinda meant to be that way…

Incredibly enjoying the vacation so far, but I’ll probably be enjoying it even more tomorrow, after I have good company to share it with.

I managed to post a travelogue of the short road trip I took with David (and which he graciously shot the pics for) last weekend.

I’ve finished all of my relentless consumerism for the next few months, but among the orgy was a ForMac Studio, which will help eliminate my dependence on David or scanners for my site pics. It may also speed up the process of getting road trips and Fresno info posted.

This will prolly be my last posting of the year. What began as one of the worst years on record (and continued as one of the most ominous ones in my life), is ending on an especially optimistic and benevolent note. Taking stock of my life and the world in which I live it, I’m pretty damn happy. But don’t let that make the rants stop, I know.

My official new years albums are: Staring at Nothing by Sleepover Disaster, because it’s my pick 2001, and Central Reservation by Beth Orton, becaause it’s currently on heavy rotation, I’m in love with it, and it kicks ass. Happy new year to all.

Well, I’m finally feeling conscious enough to update. A new month/year begins, with its requisite web site maintenance duties. Had a wonderfully incredible time with David for the past few nights, and unfortunately managed to acquire an awful bug yesterday afternoon.

But no matter how horrible I feel in the morning, I will have to go into work. The loss of the office help has landed me with the dubious role of managing an extensive legal and administrative clean-up job this week. This will include hiring new office help and dealing with odious city officials and non-paying customers… It won’t be pretty, especially if I’m not feeling any better come tomorrow.

But at least I managed to get my first good New Years smooch last night. With someone I respect and care about. Whilst watching the evil Dick Clark. Happy new year. Hopefully it treats me as well as the better pieces of 2001 treated me, if not better…

I’ve been having deams about a certain person a lot lately, and it has made me look once again at the whole sex-romance-relationship thing. It’s actually been a long time since I’d dreamt about someone. By this I mean actually transposing a real person in my life to a dream, in a realistic setting. I always know that someone is making a profound impact on my life when my dreams switch from freaky fantasies to everyday whimsy.

At least, that’s been one sign.

Others types of signs tend to revolve around my (often overactive) analytical approach to interpersonal relationships. I like to think that I can just go with the flow, regardless of who I’m with. But more often than not, I’m always integrating people into my larger ïscheme of things’.

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Because I’m no longer likely to take any new applicants, I decided to note as much on my Ideal Personal. I still think it was a good witty bit of writing on my part, though, so I’m going to at least keep it available for your continued perusal.

I never thought I’d feel so great about no longer caring whether anyone answered a personal of mine…

I’ve searched for this for years and finally stumbled upon an old archive of it. I thought it would be a novel addition to all the other .Net-Codes I’ve been tossing out lately. But if you want to decode it, you’ll have to be as snoopy as I was today…

Goth.Code2.5a:

GoSS7Bu5$ TYyuJtZ cLBRZ1 PG10Sa6E3 M2p3gD ZGo*PuoEx*MegIp*Ja* C7om a24- b55 H178 g5T w5 r3E h4 s1 k5 Rn SrNy N0196 LusCA

I love that code… It’s the most descriptive I ever came accross… Anyone know of an even better one?

For some reason I’ve been pondering dates today. A few notables that come to mind (in no particular order)…

der hyaena born: 30 June 1977 
hook-up with David :26 October 2001 
first music purchase (Bon Jovi: Slippery When Wet): 1 April 1987 
stopped smoking (for good…): 31 December 2001 
started first “real” job: 25 May 1994 
left ma&pa’s house (for good…): 28 Feb 2000

I guess that means I don’t do much in the summer. Being born in the Fresno summer heat alone was enouh for me. But it does mean that I have the anniversary of “my musical birth” coming up. Thank gawd I had a few musical “rebirths” since then…