friend of the built environment

I once used the term “Liberals by Default” to describe both the majority of our society’s common men, as well as its intelligensia today. This is merely a more common version of what I see sometimes among people who surfacially resemble individualists, but ultimately could not tie their own shoelaces without help. I run into [...]

I’ve been having deams about a certain person a lot lately, and it has made me look once again at the whole sex-romance-relationship thing. It’s actually been a long time since I’d dreamt about someone. By this I mean actually transposing a real person in my life to a dream, in a realistic setting. I [...]

I have looked at my home often as a sanctuary. Growing up in a very closely-knit family meant that privacy and time by myself were often an afterthought. My strong desire for solitude is in part a type of survival instinct. I often feel that without it, I’ll end up getting depressed or taking out [...]

I’m among the pickiest of people when it comes to choosing where I want to live. Usually, I do a big cost-benefit analysis when thinking of the subject, which usually results in deciding Fresno is the best, considering it’s where all my history is buried, where my family lives, where the rent is cheap, and [...]

Someone reminded me today that I have been quite often subject to manipulation by those who have provided for me over the years… It’s true. From the time I was very very young, I’ve relied upon provision, rather than ambition, to find me my ways and means in life. I realized this even more this [...]

A week of lasts, coming up on a week of firsts. It’s odd that, as the day of my move approaches, it totally hasn’t hit me - all these lasts and firsts. I look back on my family, friends, acquaintances, people seen, places been. Everything I’ve experienced for the first quarter-century of my life (with [...]

I don’t think I ever planned it to be this way, it just happened. I was absorbed by my work, out of touch with the social scenes, in a new town, and I just slipped away from everyone and everything pretty much…
I honestly wanted to stay in touch, really. Sometimes in the early morning or [...]

Has it really been a year? A year since I drove to work, a year since I had Wednesday coffee with Amy, a year since I stopped commuting to San Francisco every weekend, a year since I could pop by Club Fred or the Den on a weeknight for a pint or three, a year [...]

I never could have guessed that there would be a single person on this Earth with whom I had so much in common. But it happened. And it’s wonderful. Who would have known I deserved such a great thing in what was already such a great life?
David is my husband. He’s the most amazing man [...]

It’s only started to occur to me very recently how I deal with pain, loss and grief. Every time I say goodbye to someone or someplace which means a lot to me, I die a little inside, and it erodes a bit of what makes me who I am. As antisocial as I am in [...]

Two years in San Francisco. Damn.
Over the past two years, my relationship with this City has had its ups and downs. It’s sort of like being adopted by your evil stepmother and trying really hard to love her even though she abuses and enslaves you in your own home.
San Francisco: it has such promise. If [...]

The Big City means high-end urban areas such as NY, SF, LA, Philly and Chicago. Places where owning a single-family detatched dwelling is not feasible for the vast majority of residents. This rules out up-and-coming cities with rational real estate such as Charlotte, Raleigh, Austin and Denver. It also rules out most of the rust [...]

Contemplating the possibility of a future move to the Beautiful American South (land of evangelicals and baptists, birthplace of lynchings and the conformity of “rebellion”), I sometimes pause a moment to consider how my attitudes and behaviors might need to be modified in relation to my distance from the closet.
This essay, of course, refers to [...]

A quick summary of what goes on in my head when you are witnessing a Murderingscreed in action.
The following is meant to be a short overview of my worldview or political philosophy. Think of it as all of my political essays wrapped up in one dense soy-flavoured PowerBar.
I have often been accused of talking out [...]

Marriage is a red-button issue in America (and maybe beyond?). Queers have spent the past year making strides and taking stock of setbacks. The majority of American voters loathe the concept of universal marriage equality. The war on contract law is taking some unsettling turns in places like Virginia, Ohio and Louisianna. Logical reasoning and [...]