Posted in Rants, Uncategorized on September 18th, 2001 by Дмитрий

There exists in our culture a cult of the collective. Combine this with the near-universal phenomenon of sexual or religious social identification, and the result is the ubiquitous subcultures and exclusive clubs which deny individuals the true personal and social freedoms they deserve.

The gay population of most of the industrial world is among the worst offenders in this area. In the dubious quest for power and “acceptance,” homosexuals have adopted, perpetuated, and promoted the very social ills and stereotypical behaviors that demean and constrain them. Rather than helping to contribute to the sexual liberation of our society, most homosexuals eagerly adopt the very philosophical preambles that have resulted in decades - if not centuries - of self-righteous repression by religious, political and educational authorities.

The roots of these offenses go much deeper than politics, “community,” or sex alone can explain. Rather they are based upon inherent personal shame and lack of identity, the roots of which lie in the philosophical points-of-view held by such perpetrators in regard to the role of sex in human biology and psychology, the concept of sexuality in its social context, the influence of collectivism, and a desire - despite pleas to the contrary - be seen as “normal” and to “fit in” in the eyes of peers and elders.

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Posted in Uncategorized on November 11th, 2001 by Дмитрий

I awoke this morning to a wonderfully rainy day. The air did need a bit of a washing around here. It did put a damper on my travel plans, though… Not that I can’t take the trip any other day. Considering my planned destinations were little more than a 6-hour trip or so in total, I doubt finding another opportunity will be difficult.

Camera Beckons

Posted in Uncategorized on November 19th, 2001 by Дмитрий

So it was an incredibly enjoyable weekend… But then, David is an incredibly enjoyable person.  I’m off to Vons and then to open-mic night. Hopefully I get to do my Veteran’s Day performance one week late, as last week’s event was canceled…

I should be leaving the 35mm world by the weekend. Goodbye rude photoprocessing punks…

Monogamy as Bondage

Posted in Rants, Uncategorized on January 12th, 2002 by Дмитрий

Monogamy plays a very dubious role in our society today. It is seen as the highest of virtues by the majority of individiuals - whatever their moral alignment in most other matters. The reasons behind the worship of monogamy are based either on archaic religious mores or irrational philosophical premises, and the demands which such beliefs place on relationships often destroys otherwise great romances.

The primary root of most monogamy is religion. Most religions restrict sexual and romantic activity due to the common mystical perception that pleasure is a sin. Thus religions tend to prefer any moral alignment which restricts the prevalence or enjoyment of individual desires.

Other often-touted reasons for monogamy stem from the desire to have and keep a single, life-long partner. Needless to say, this premise has been proven flawed by history indubidubly. Whether through marriage or interpersonal agreement, the majority of romantic relationships are based upon monogamy. Unfortunately, this premise is in fact the root of the statistically tragic plight of romance in the world today.

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Ready to Go

Posted in Uncategorized on March 27th, 2002 by Дмитрий

For those of you who’ve assumed I’ve died, I’m still here and kicking, just not really on my web site. I’ve got lots of things that I want to do here, especially over at The Hyaena, but my priorities have been elsewhere lately…

Tonight will be coffee with Amy, and tomorrow night is an early Easter celebration with Ma & Pa, since I’ll be away for the actual event. Friday I’m supposed to chill out with Lauren . I’ve also been commissioned by Ghoulia to record the next Fastback69 show at Fred’s on the 18th April. Yay.

I’m continuing to have severe writers’ block, so don’t expect many insightful new essays or entries for the next couple weeks. iBook will be accompanying David & I on our trip next week, so there’s always the possibility that we’ll keep you updated from the road. But I definately make no guarantees…

Raw, Refined, Contrived

Posted in Uncategorized on October 30th, 2002 by Дмитрий

There are three basic types of results from the activity of the creative mind: the raw, the refined and the contrived.

“Raw” is not necessarily normative, and describes the results of creativity in its most basic form, prior to any true product or end result. The raw result of a musician’s creative process is in most cases the melody before the rhythm, or the poem before it becomes lyrics or the written ideas before they are set down for actual instruments. Raw material is that upon which the final product is built. Whenever “Raw” is actually used to describe the final product, it is usually in the normative sense, meaning “unfinished” and “incomplete” or even “unsatisfactory”. The raw creation should not be the goal of the creative mind.

“Refined” is not always (though often) normative, and describes the product of creativity: the end result of the combining and processing of raw materials. Crude oil is a raw material for the refined gasoline which is sold as the end product at gas stations. A rough sketch is the raw creation out of which the detailed landscape painting becomes the product. In the normative sense, “Refined” can at best mean “the greatest end result”, “the final product” and at worst “fully realized”. Refined creations are the only rational goal of the creative mind.

“Contrived” is the usually normative description of that which was incompletely refined or re-refined from poor creativity. Those who strive to recreate what was created before them (without necessarily understanding the purpose for which the original product was destined) are guilty of contriving their creations. A modern parlor room decorated in tribal chic is contrived where a tribal hut in its intended and functional state is not. A scientist who lazily tries to merely reproduce the innumerably-reproduced is contrived in his objective. Original thinkers and honest productive men are never contrived in the outcomes of their creativity. Most of the flushable crap floating around our world today is, however.

One Night in Fresno

Posted in Family, Get In My Head, Uncategorized on October 26th, 2003 by Дмитрий

I never could have guessed that there would be a single person on this Earth with whom I had so much in common. But it happened. And it’s wonderful. Who would have known I deserved such a great thing in what was already such a great life?

David is my husband. He’s the most amazing man in the world. I met him whilst he was on one of his many “research trips” to my home town of Fresno. We first saw one another in person at my favorite pub. I turned around at the bar and there he was. I couldn’t believe how amazing I felt with just one look. Does it demean someone to call it love at first sight? What else than sight can be so perceptive and instant?

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Gedd Ma Ar On

Posted in Uncategorized on June 28th, 2004 by Дмитрий

I woke up from my first post-apocalyptic dream. It was the 11th of sometime, and by nightfall, the bombs had started falling. Everyone around me was from work or casual acquaintance, and none of the people that mattered could be found. The City had fractured into warring clans, each trying to proclaim itself the foreign offices of France (the Transamerica clan), Germany (the Marriott clan), Zaire (the Gap clan), or any other socialist dictatorship on the menu.

I stayed at work until the morning, wishing I had my husband to hold, hovering over the techies hoping someone could find a way to connect to something - to get news, to communicate with the outside. By morning, the chance that I had anything left in the City to stay for was dwindling, and all I wanted to do was see my family, my husband or someone I loved. The second volley of bombs had fallen before daybreak.

The dawn was hot, windy and unexpectedly sunny. I woke up before I had the chance to escape.

Моя Машина

Posted in Uncategorized on August 3rd, 2004 by Дмитрий

The time has come to unload the car I have had for more than 10 years. I remember back in high school when I got it, and later using it to clandestinely speed to Las Vegas for a Creatures show which I never ended up seeing, driving endlessley through all my free time all over central California to escape Roommate Hell back in my undergrad years… It’s been a sturdy, reliable car. I will miss it.

David’s birthday is coming. Buy him something. And if you’re in Southern California this weekend, let us know and you may just be invited to the prty.


Posted in Uncategorized on October 28th, 2004 by Дмитрий

One can be a resourceful person. One can have lots of abilities. One can miraculously make everything work out benevolently at every turn. But that doesn’t make it any easier to know that one’s choices are the best…


Posted in Uncategorized on August 10th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Happy Birthday to David. Next year I hope to get you something which you can use to decorate or accent the house I hope to have for you by then.

Also birthday wishes out to Amber, and a belated HBD to Dan.

Ground Zero

Posted in Uncategorized on August 29th, 2005 by Дмитрий

The pictures from ground zero so far are very depressing. It truly makes me wish we’d spent more time in the sinking city when we visited in June. Hopefully something will be left should we return…


Posted in Uncategorized on September 12th, 2005 by Дмитрий

When one is failing to communicate ones ideas, one is probably best served by ceasing to try.

A Private Matter with No Place in the Public Sphere

Posted in Uncategorized on November 8th, 2005 by Дмитрий

I finally had the opportunity to catch up on my sleepy last night, only to first be awoken by my phone (unrecognized number, no message) after a couple hours of sleep, and then by severe aches and nausea a couple hours later. Never did quite recover. I’ve managed to make it in to work, but I would not even have attempted to be here if it didn’t make the difference between having a job in the new year and not having one…


On my way to work, on NPR, there was an interview with a French legislator who was “a member of President Jacques Chirac’s right wing conservative party” (emphasis mine). The gentleman was asked about his opinions on the current riots and their impact on French attitudes toward religion, immigration, etc. The intriguing part was when he remarked that he did not care what various religious organizations had to say about the matter, instead saying that “This is a secular state” and that “religion is a private matter that has no place in enforcing the law or addressing the violence”.


I didn’t record it, so my quotes may not be entirely precise. But it doesn’t change the fact that I really wish we had “right-wing conservatives” in the US that thought this way about religion…

We Interrupt this Holiday Mushiness…

Posted in Uncategorized on November 29th, 2005 by Дмитрий

…For a couple quickie rants:


I don’t like museums. I think old things need not be preserved just because they’re old. Old things which continue to serve a sustained, productive purpose and function will preserve themselves. You can exchange “people” for “things” in the above statement and my sentiment will remain the same. This is probably one reason why the concept of retirement doesn’t really appeal to me all that much. It’s also why I don’t see any reason why museums have any intrinsic value. And not just because they display old things, but because they play to that idea that art should have intrinsic value. I think art is something that should be consumed and collected by individuals, not just put on display for some nebulous “community”, and it certainly should not be subsidized.


Also, whilst dining with Wolf last week, he mentioned that one thing which he did not miss about San Francisco was the transient nature of peoples’ affection here. He used two specific phrases that stuck with me: “People come here to be themselves, which leaves little room in the equation for others”, and that being is San Francisco is like being a “kid in a candy store”, to the extent that people here, no matter how close you feel you are, are always watching the door for someone more interesting to walk in. Both ideas seem to speak volumes about the fact that I lived here for 3 years and never made a single new friend aside from those I met through David, whereas within the first few months of arriving in Charlotte, I was able to find a nice few people that I’ve already befriended, and can see myself building some strong, long-term contacts with.


We now return to our regularly scheduled holiday pleasantness…