Child Free - Way to Be

Posted in San Francisco on February 3rd, 2005 by Дмитрий

One thing I sort of have to give San Francisco credit for is being one of the most child-free cities on Earth. An article recently indicated that there are more dogs living in San Francisco’s homes than children. If only other factors (such as real estate, transit, sanitation and mental health) would be treated with the same degree of self-serving narcissism, it might just make it a livable place… and I’m not the only one with such an opinion


Posted in Charlotte on February 8th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Something significant just happened…

Cured by Queerness

Posted in Sods on February 14th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Why is is that a particular Catholic Saint was chosen as the mascot for a day so frought with hedonistic indulgence? I mean, when I think Catholicism, I think abstinence, guilt, shame. When I think Valentine I think sex, chocolate, food, fun, pleasure. But then, I also like the idea that I’m having such thoughts as a result of observing a Catholic holiday.

Not sure whether it’s supposed to be related or not, but an interesting discussion about Queer Choice on Leex’s Board:

“For instance, liberals are far more likely to accept the gay gene theory, and conservatives reject it. The main difference between both views is that conservatives see queerness as a contagious disease. The liberal argument amounts to “but it’s not contagious!” Not all liberals think this way, of course, but many of them do think of the gay gene theory as the only line of defence. Meanwhile, nobody really explores the thought that willfully engaging in same-sex relationships can be a moral position to take. It’s not only unwise to see sexuality in such a strict dichotomy, but it amounts to ceding the point to the homophobes upfront, and then going for a Phyrric victory. This doesn’t seem like a honest way of reasoning, and it’s very unlikely to convince the opposition.”

and a vignette from Chisparoja about the people us Choicers are siding with:

“What s always seeemed most incomprehensible to me about them is that they talk about being “God-fearing”, about being terrified of their creator, as if it is really something to be proud of and it doesn’t occur to them in the least that anyone wouldn’t love to live in terror. But I m not sure exactly what it is fundamentally that so terrifies them that they seem to insist on celebrating, or why they seem so enthusiastic about the prospect of a life characterized by terror.”

As for my own views on the matter, my dogged inability to dispense with my belief in free will make me a natural Choicer. I have never had a serious romantic or sexual relationship with anyone lacking a penis, but I have entertained the notion (and I have, in fact, dabbled a bit in my younger years). It doesn’t exactly offend or putrify me, as it seems to for most fags. I think of carnal pursuits are almost entirely fetishistic. My fetishes involve penises, body hair and beer bellies. I desire a certain set of sensory and emotional queues to get me going, as most people do. The fact that they tend to swing deliberately toward one particular genital and hormonal configuration is not all that important to me.

What Does Marriage Mean?

Posted in Get In My Head, Sods on February 14th, 2005 by Дмитрий

Marriage is a red-button issue in America (and maybe beyond?). Queers have spent the past year making strides and taking stock of setbacks. The majority of American voters loathe the concept of universal marriage equality. The war on contract law is taking some unsettling turns in places like Virginia, Ohio and Louisianna. Logical reasoning and rational debate regarding the issue has never been very prominent. Religious moralizing, thoughtless parrotting and empty rhetoric are the order of the day. What is marriage? Why is it important? Does contract law, in a law-based country, trump tradition? Does tradition, in an increasingly religious and dogmatic country, trump the concept of contract law? And to what degree?

Read more »

I Do.

Posted in About Me, Family on February 16th, 2005 by Дмитрий

It was one of the coldest, rainiest, windiest nights ever in the City of San Francisco. And we chose to spend it not in our warm, comfortable, and newly-purchased bed, but on the cold steps of City Hall. It was a test to see exactly how important social contract philosophy was to us. Would that everyone thought of it that way. For the chance to marry David, I would have stayed awake on those cold steps through ten rainy nights…

The contract was nullified by the courts, and alternative steps have since been taken to legally ensure the public recognition of my chosen family. Whilst I sometimes object to the concept of “marriage” in and of itself due to its weighted historical implications (religious, moral, legal, etc.), so long as it is the forbidden zone of contract law in this refreshingly contract-ruled country, I will demand its extension to my relationship.

My philosophical outlook on life can generally be characterized by several identifiable moments where it “rebirthed”. Each time it was not necessarily a “change” in philosophy but a change in perspective and a new lease on philosophical principles that were failing to entirely work for me. At only 3.5 years old, my online presence has failed to really reflect much of them. But there has been a small change in perspective recently, whether or not it’s been easily discernable in my composition.

What the process has made me think about most is that, although I have maintained the same general philosophical principles throughout my life, certain specifics have changed, and thus the fact that much of my ideas are documented and expressed here in my web sites demonstrates these changes. In the past, these small changes have encouraged me to let go of my past philosophical expressions entirely - sort of wishing to start my ranting over from my new perspective, and with a clean slate.

But now I realize that my past is a very important part of my life. The fact that I change over time is what makes me human and maintaining an intimate link with those changes requires documenting them. Erasing them is counterproductive if I wish to grow by obtaining new perspective on my ideals, and fails to lend me the vast amount of assistance my past offers for free.

I don’t think I have really changed, on a basic psychological level. Ultimately, what changes for me from time to time is my intellectual ammunition. I find newer and better ways to express what I feel and what I think and how I reason. Usually these instances of change are preceded by exposure to a specific bit of philosophical or literary material which gets me thinking about something in a way I’d failed to see it previously. If certain legacy components get tossed to the wind due to my new perspective, I see no reason to erase them from my past. It just means that I have to ensure they are qualified logically when they no longer apply, so that who I am is clear, and so that what I think and how I express it cannot be refuted merely by a perspective-impaired history lesson.

Thus, my duty should not be to comb for contradictions, but to explain why contradictions cannot exist, and thus why apparent contradictions are in fact evidence of growth and proof of perspective. My present does not refute my past. It complements it.

San Diego

Posted in Travel on February 24th, 2005 by Дмитрий

The weekend past saw an enlightening visit to Southern California, which within a few weeks will have successfully been washed away. Pity. Finally managed to meet Drub and Chuck at Pomegranate. Other gastronomic tourist stops includedMister Tiki and Jimmy Carter’s. Much weight was gained and cute neighborhoods seen.