Visit from David this weekend. I knew I’d like him… We ate good food that was very bad for us, explored Fresno architecture… etc. Even managed a visit to Amy’s spooky halloween party Friday night. Avoided the cheesy halloween block party in my own neighborhood.

Hopefully some more hardware to be purchased this week: I really want to get a digital camera, in order to take full advantage of this sexy new computer of mine, but that will be dependent upon the price. I definitely need to score a floppy drive, since all I currently have is a cd-writer. Though I suppose I could always just get some RW discs…

Tomorrow’s open mic night. My first shot at Fred’s. Should be interesting… Bring your ripe tomatoes! Ah the landmarks of one’s life…

I went to San Francisco over the weekend. Despite the fact that it was San Francisco, David showed me an incredible time. He took me shopping. Outside of the City.

On my way up on Saturday morning, I managed a stop in Merced at a mildly trashy diner on the south side of downtown. The waitress who served me was a used piece of middle-aged trailer trash, who was incredibly rude and kept glaring at me as if I was the source of all her problems. I only wish I would’ve had something smaller than a penny to tip her. Just goes to show that no matter how many flags you wave in front of your business, it won’t make you any better.

So I’m going to spend the rest of the week convincing myself that I must be more productive next weekend. I’m trying to work out a bit of a trip around the west half of Fresno County: eg. Coalinga, Mendota, Kerman, Firebaugh, etc. Should be some good material, and a lot of soggy cotton 

Now typing in the afterglow of a wonderful weekend with David. I like him more & more every time I see him. And it’s not scaring me anymore.

Not much more to report today. Just a “cheer up” going out to Murray. Things will still shape up one of these days…

Very nice day. I’ve been in great spirits pretty much since I woke up, and I plan on going to bed as such as well. So if you have any bad news, please refrain from reporting it until I wake up tomorrow.

I met David and his lovely mother at a Denny’s in Stockton. The company was absolutely perfect. The restaurant was absolutely pitiful. Bad service, bad decor, substandard food… But we did enjoy a fruitful (for me) tour through a couple thrift stores in Stockton. I managed to score a few records, a bunch of old 78rpms, a new outfit, an Xmas present for my Ma, and a rare smooch in the McDonald’s boy’s room… But don’t tell anyone…

Drove back home singing to Bev and Let’s Go Bowling at the top of my lungs. Attended Paula’s birthday party for a pinch, then it was off to Fred’s for Nate Butler’s 10th annual “Mmmm Mmmm Xmas” party. I had my single dry gin martini. I sang along with the Xmas songs. I videotaped the elves doing dirty things. A fun time was had.

Now I’m ready for sleep. I’ve neglected a few things I should have done today, so I’ll be skipping the computer show at the Fairgrounds and just sticking to my chores, and maybe try to cash a rain check I left an old friend which I failed to inform him was actually written…

I knew this glowing mood had to end. First I bomb at Open Mic last night, to heckles and sneers and general unpleasantness…

And today I’ve realized that my parents are among the most inconsiderate people on Earth. They treat me like a 5-year-old. I sympathize with parental instincts to hold the cord, but the degree to which it’s being taken this month is perfectly horrific. I was getting really into the Xmas spirit, buying my tree and presents, sending out cards, etc. But now I just want the whole thing to go away. Ma & Pa are using the arrival of the holidays as an excuse to soak up my free time and riddle me with guilt about how non-family-oriented I am, when in fact I’ve always seen my family as one of the more together ones out there.

Rather than asking me if I can make it to their latest party plans, they tell me when it is, and if I express a conflict, they exclaim how little I care for the family, since I’m unwilling to sacrifice my prior plans to their scatter-brained priorities.

The motivation to job-hunt - for something several hundred miles away from them - is growing by the minute. But I’m not sure how well the market is prepared to receive me at the moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I truly do dig my family. I just resent this common line which emerges every holiday season which goes something like: “Revere the family above all else, unconditionally, because they are ‘your family’ “, as if the fact that someone happens to bel related to me endows them with some mystic superiority over everyone else I meet. I revere people who give me reason to. And most of the time, my parents do in fact have many virtues worthy of a bit of reverence.

But not today, and probably not this month…

Happy Birthday to K.C., my sister. She’s 29 years old, if I’ve done my math right. I’ve always gotten on well with her. Even when I was a little kid and she would torture me and boss me around, I still always saw her almost as a role model. She’s got an incredibly strong character, and I share more in common with her than almost anyone I know. She gave me my first Cure tape when I was in 4th grade. No one really understood my musical taste back then (come to think of it, no one really understands them these days either…).

So happy birthday, Sis! Speaking of music, I’ve had “Shot in the Dark” by Ozzy in my head all day. Not all that unpleasant, but it brings me back to my early 80s hair band lovin’ days when I would blast Bon Jovi or Europe and play with Transformers in the front room. My next door neighbors were very religious, and got rather freaked out when they came over to play with me. If not for Transformers and tolerant parents, I may have not had any friends at all.

It’s fun to reminisce, isn’t it? I’ll be snogging with David in about 250 minutes, and I can’t guarantee that I’ll be stopping until Sunday, so don’t expect much email or updates from now til then…

Xmas eve. Muy contento. Work’s almost done, and my 8-day break begins in about 2 hours. There will be much food, much family, and much giving and getting of gifts. I spent the weekend with David and what I thought would be a mild disaster in the way of family drama went down benevolent and stress-free. It involved lots of sex, food and rock-n-roll.

All in all, the past coupla weeks could have gone far worse. The past weekend couldn’t have gone better (except that it could have lasted a bit longer… but I’m not complaining). Like I’ve said before: I won’t be letting that 3-week break happen again.

I doubt I’ll be updating for a coupla more days, but I’ll make sure I give a detailed account of all the toys I do or do not receive when I return. Thanks to David for being such a perfect guest and allowing me to feed him mass quantities of very-bad-for-you food. We like clogged arteries. After all, Fat is Flavor, and it ain’t worth eating unless it was cooked in 6 inches of animal grease.

Happy holidays to everyone, enjoy your respective hedonistic celebrations. Shop til you drop. Eat til you puke. It’s all sex, food and rock-n-roll. And listen to a little Nat King Cole whilst you’re at it.

I’ve been having deams about a certain person a lot lately, and it has made me look once again at the whole sex-romance-relationship thing. It’s actually been a long time since I’d dreamt about someone. By this I mean actually transposing a real person in my life to a dream, in a realistic setting. I always know that someone is making a profound impact on my life when my dreams switch from freaky fantasies to everyday whimsy.

At least, that’s been one sign.

Others types of signs tend to revolve around my (often overactive) analytical approach to interpersonal relationships. I like to think that I can just go with the flow, regardless of who I’m with. But more often than not, I’m always integrating people into my larger ïscheme of things’.

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A somewhat sleepless night last night, but it wasn’t entirely a bad thing. I listened to “Rain Dogs” on repeat for a while and contemplated some things. I even had a revelation or two. It was significant. Tell my instant messenger it will be neglected for the forseeable future. Tell the bars they’ll probably not be seeing much of me. Tell Fresno to enjoy me while she can. And happy Valentine’s Day to you. Now if only I’d figured out just how mushy or explicit I was allowed to be in this journal…

In only a few more hours, I’ll be hosting my favorite fellow traveler for a special Valentine’s version of our usual weekend together. Complete with a Saturday evening session with Sippy & Old Guzzler.

And speaking of travelling, I thought I’d mention that I will be visiting the great Northwest with this very same person in early April, and he has inspired the idea in me that I should bring along the iBook, just in case there’s some important stuff worth cataloguing. Along those lines, if anyone has any suggestions as to cheap divy motels, diners, cheap divy restaurants or places to avoid, or even roadside attractions that I might otherwise miss, please let me know . I have this sinking suspicion that I will be falling in love with Portland when I visit it… We’ll see. I’m sure there will be more on this subject as the trip draws nearer.

Hungry and tired. As expected, the decongestants left me with precious little sleep for a second night in a row. But at least tonight I’ll have a legitimate reason (aka “sex”) for not getting to sleep early… Now to contemplate lunch…

I bid David goodbye about an hour ago… As always, I have this dopey giddy grin on my face and I’m a combination content with having spent such a woonderful weekend with him and sad that we always have to part ways. I honestly can’t wait until our trip, when I get to spend 9 whole days with him…

Hopefully that doesn’t spoil me and make even 9 days too short. I’m sure it will. Now who among you all are being totally cheesed out by my recent mushiness? Good.

Sunday breakfasts just aren’t the same without you, baby.

The day is going slowly, but that’s probably because I’m aching with anticipation to see David tonight. I’ve really gotta do something about this 200 mile separation. Soon…

Updated my Amazon.com Wish List. Anyone feeling generous?

I was surfing last night and once again came upon David’s old interview with Nightcharm . I knew I wasn’t the only one who thought he was one of the best writers around. I’m so glad I found him…

Happy birthday Grandma. This week is lasting for fucking ever.